There is all types of engineers out there and each of them can vary in personalities. But like all men they are simple. You really don’t need to over think things with them, they are very honest and to the point. But like with any man they have their needs as do women.
When dating an engineer you have to remember they think analytical and practical. Logical thinking will always prevail over the romantic gestures. This type of thinking is excellent for a life partner if you are seeking marriage or a long term relationship that is stable. In my book I rather pick stable and practical person, such as an engineer to have a relationship with then a romantic that is unreliable, commitment phoebe who is in and out of your life.
This does not mean engineers are not romantic, however more so by the book romantic such as going to look at sunsets, giving red roses or taking you on a trip to napa valley for the weekend. Some might think this is vanilla and if they need more of a tear jerking emotionally gut retrenching romance with harps and cherubs there are artists or bad boys who would suit your needs.
When deciding engineers are your thing be warned their personalities vary depending on what segment their profession is in. I have noticed different engineering professions cultivate different personalities. For instance in my experience mechanical engineers, civil engineers and chemical engineers are often more outgoing then programmers or electrical engineers. Some dress well, some will never understand that black dress socks don’t go with running shoes or sandals. Some engineering wardrobes are full of free shirts, jackets and hats with company logos of companies they have worked or vendors gave them as a gift. Unless they are a sales engineer most won’t own a suit and if they do it is very outdated and they will not feel comfortable wearing it so don’t push them too.
At the same time there are similarities. It doesn’t matter which engineering segment they work in my experience most all engineers like sci-fi, video games, history, and the color blue. It doesn’t matter what kind of blue from the color blue of electrostatic mats in engineering labs to blue shirts, to them there is a comfort in the color blue. Also, most engineers are in some fashion color blind and blue is the most dominate color. It is a bonus to an engineer if you love sci-fi and get sci-fi humor. As well all engineers are open to clothing suggestions but don’t push them out of their comfort zone or it could back fires.
When you are on the first date with one, the biggest thing to remember is first impressions are big for them. If you can hold a conversation with them and talk about common interested, stimulate their mind with your knowledge they will find that to the be the most attractive part about you.
When coming up with date ideas avoid the suit and tie events and hit the science museums, a trendy gastropub or brewery, have a sci-fi movie night, go to a comedy club, get out play video games and do his favorite sport or hit a laid back restaurant or sports bar. When it comes to gifts for an engineer you can always win by finding out what was their favorite sci-fi movie, video game, tv show as a kid and find either:
- Cufflinks that have a sci-fi theme, engineers often don’t own cufflinks because they don’t wear suits but at some point they will be invited to a wedding black tie event and be grateful they had some.
- A shirt that has their favorite sci-fi characters
- Or any of the following items
Now when dating them, depending on the type for example if you find one that is more dominate. He will be more old school and pick the places to go on your dates, maybe even order the drinks, food and etc. One thing in common with most of them, is they enjoy good food and drinks. They are always willing to try a new places and sometimes the most trendy places you can think of.
You also have your more reserved engineer that are more career focused so getting them to do things out of work can be hard especially if they are on a deadline, so don’t take it personally when they work 80 hours a week or even come home to work some more. They love what they do, and it will always come first. With these types, best to have your own hobbies and interest cause if you don’t and always try to “nag” for their attention it will just push them further away. Even though it seems you will hardly see them, they do make up for it when you are together.
When getting to that pivotal moment in a relationship where people say I love you. An engineer might take his time. This is a good thing, you don’t want someone who throws around such words lightly. They want to make sure it is right, they probably wanted to tell you for a but feared it is too soon.
Some engineers reading this are probably fuming and for those I will say regarding the above there are always exceptions to the rules. Those same engineers are probably saying what makes her an expert? Well I come from a family of engineers, my mother a civil engineer and brother a civil and mechanical engineer, I spent 13 years living in Silicon Valley the mecha of engineers working in the robotics, software, telecom and nanotech space surrounded to engineers and had to understand how they think so I can market products to them and in 2012 married a software engineer.
- About the Author
- Latest Posts
Joanna founded Love Engineer Dating and Relationship Advice blog in 2004 after she saw her friends struggling to date in Silicon Valley. Over the years she has introduced 11 couples who got married and still remain married years later.