If you are new to dating or getting back to dating after a failed relationship and stressed to keep the date going smoothly and not have the dreaded awkward silence, consider using these questions to keep the conversation flowing. The first rule to connect with someone and to get them to open up is to avoid questions that can be answered by a simple yes or no. The second rule would be to listen.
First Date Questions
Learning Who Motives Your Date
- Who do you admire most? In what way did they inspire you?
- If you were able to wake up tomorrow in the body of someone else, who would it be?
- Who is the most important person in your life? Do you have a good relationship with them?
- Are there people you envy enough you would trade lives with them? Who are they?
Learn if Your Date is Goal Oriented
- How often do you step back and reflect upon the way you living and where you are heading? In what way will you reach your goals to make your life better?
- What is the greatest accomplishment in life? Is there anything you hope to do that is even better?
- What is the next goal you set to accomplish?
- Have you ever made a vision board or wrote down your goals?
Learning How Your Date Views Parenting
- If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
- What do you value most about your parents and the way they parented you?
- If you had kids, would you homeschool them or put them in public or private schools?
- Do you think kids have too much access to electronics, and if so, why?
Learn How Your Date Handles Friendships
- Do you prefer being around men or women? Do your friends tend to be men or women?
- How forgiving are you when friends let you down?
- If your friends and acquaintances were willing to be bluntly and honestly tell you what they thought of you, would you want to hear the feedback?
- Which one of your friends would approve or disapprove of our date and why?
Learn Your Dates View on Past Relationships
- Are you attracted to people who are healthy for you to be around?
- Can you point out people who are energy vampires or those who seek attention by always being the victim?
- Are you ready to be in a long-term relationship, or are you still healing from past hurt?
- What has scared you in past relationships?
Learning Your Dates Work Ethic
- Would you accept a much less enjoyable job paying twice the wage?
- If you received the same amount of pay regardless of your job, what kind of work would you do?
- If you were financially independent, would you continue to work?
- Do you believe in a single-income household? Why or why not?
Learning How Your Date Views Religion
- Do you believe in any religion? Were you raised this way or converted?
- Are you willing to go inside a religious building of a religion you do not practice?
- Do you expect your partner to convert to your religion? Why or why not?
- Have you ever gone away to a religious retreat?
Learning if Your Date Is Into Traveling and What Kind of Travel
- If you could take a 30-day trip anywhere in the world and money were no consideration, where would you go and what would you do?
- What are your views on camping?
- What was the best hotel you have stayed at, and where was it?
- Do you think an Air B&B is safe? Would you stay in one? Or would you be comfortable making your home into an Air B&B
Learn if your Date’s View Of Social Media
- What was the first social media profile you ever had, and how did you discover it?
- Which platform do you have the most social media followers, and how did you grow them?
- Could you live without any social media for a year or more? Explain why?
- Do you think Social Media has helped society or hindered it?
Bonus Questions to Ask Your Date to Get to Know them More
- Which is more important, the actual experience or the memories that remain when the experience is over?
- Which documentary made a profound difference in your views?
- Which one are you more scared of and why? Snakes, clowns, spiders, heights, needs or something else?
- Are you an iPhone or Android person, and why?
- About the Author
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Joanna founded Love Engineer Dating and Relationship Advice blog in 2004 after she saw her friends struggling to date in Silicon Valley. Over the years she has introduced 11 couples who got married and still remain married years later.