Here’s a question from Jessica, who’s experiencing something we can all relate to.
The Question:
“Hi Helena,
It seems like all the men I date always end up disappointing me in some way. It starts off great, and then after a couple weeks they either say the wrong thing, forget to call, or they seem to get busy and stop making plans with me and everything just fizzles after that. I always end up feeling disregarded and it’s really frustrating. Please help!
Jessica”
My Answer:
Jessica, I know exactly how frustrating this can be. I want you to know that the first step to turning things around for yourself is awareness.
You can’t begin to change anything until you become aware of what’s going on – so I want you to fully embrace and celebrate
We all have both masculine and feminine energy inside of us. I want you to take a look at your masculine energy – the part of you that’s about doing, thinking, giving, planning, and making decisions – and how it’s operating in your own life.
Expert relationship coach Rori Raye says that there is no one separate from you. There’s just YOU showing up in different ways out there in the world – and I’ve seen this happen over and over again.
In other words, whatever is going on in the masculine energy inside of you – that’s what’s showing up in the men you’re meeting out there!
The men you meet and attract when you’re dating are like a mirror image of the kind of masculine energy that’s running your life. For example, if you’re critical of yourself, you’re going to attract – and be attracted TO – men who will criticize you.
If your masculine energy is not taking care of your feminine energy – the part of you that’s about being, feeling, receiving, experessing, and experiencing – you’re going to be wearing a sign that says “Disappoint Me.” That’s all you’re going to see out there in the world.
So I want you to ask yourself, what is your masculine energy doing or not doing in your life that is showing up in the men you’re attracting? Ask yourself, “Am I loving and taking care of myself?” Or, “Am I constantly abandoning myself and my true feelings?” Take a look at how this is going on inside of you. See what your masculine energy can do to take care of your feminine energy – and create the space for yourself to experience your feelings and just BE.
I can totally relate to this, especially the part about attracting men who will criticize you if you’re critical of yourself. All of my past relationships were with men who were critical until I realized how hard I can be on myself. Once I started working on myself better men started showing up.