Borderline Personality Disorders and Relationships – Alluring Yet Volatile

Borderline personality disorders dating relationships.Borderline Personality Disorders, Alluring yet volatile

Personality Disorder will tailor or alter their actions and appearance to please others. He or she will often present himself as a charismatic and clear thinking individual over intervals of time. Three examples can be related to this disorder: the hate collision, the physical seducer and the clingy soul. The borderline personality may take several months, up to years, to complete their cycle. Later in life, this personality will switch back and forth from their evolving personality traits.

Love and hate collide phase volatile. Over time, you may find your own healthy balance breaking down due to this person’s harmful traits. You may change and lose your self esteem during this time track. You may even alter your personality in hopes of him or her returning to a clinging stage where they depended more on you, but this does not last. Occasionally you might even cycle back to the hater around the time of a monumental day such as your anniversary, or  that individual’s  birthday. Borderline personalities range from the characteristic sense. It is very hard on a loved one witnessing the feat to know what triggered the disruption in reality. A primary identifiable clue is that “the rage-trigger” in reality, is difficult for you to pin point. In borderline personalities, in their minds, the point is always clear. In  him or her  mind he or she may be thinking there is prominent a cause and that cause is “you.” Sometimes just the way how you think how you feel, the tone of your voice, the way you look at him or her, the way the you dress, or move will get him or her to try justifying the rage by mentally punishing you for having “hurt him or her.”

Physical Seduction and Love

Love and the physical seduction aspect in  him or her  mind It will all seem like reality because inside  him or her  mind it appears to be real. This may be true for  him or her  mind, but this is not what you perceive to be taking place. Seductive in nature and intense, she or he will begin to weigh down on you emotionally. This, in turn, may cause you to feel seductive. You will feel idealized, cherished, elevated, to the level of possibly being uncomfortable. This process will happen very quickly. In a short advancement of time, it may feel like a great deal has transpired between the two both in a brief moment. Her attention or his, the deep focus of his or her eyes, and intense conversation may lead you to feel like you more familiar with him than you really are. You might feel a rapid accelerated feeling of devotion in the first phase because he is a master of design in characterizing himself as a “victim of love” and you are saving him from the sinking ship. Pay close attention to how he or she places themselves as a victim in a sea of darkness. As his or her strange, emotional battle field advances on you, you might be hearing words like; no one understands him or her except for yours truly. He or she will mimic how people have been “insensitive” towards him or her. When he or she has started to trust others again, this personality has been forsaken. There are “unique” and “special” qualities you posses. You authentically seem to “understand” him or her  and the evolving theories.

Love, the Clinging soul Manifestation

Once he has successfully reeled you in with his or her concern and devout attention, it will start to dwindle and subtly shift over time. All of a sudden he or she will seem still interested in you, but will no longer like the same things. His of her interest will become the interest of how serious the two of you are. Something will seem different during this time period.” Your feelings and ideas will still fascinate  him or her , but more so if the focus is on this human solely. Some of the borderline personality traits are as follows; vulnerable, detached, depressed, anxious or indifferent. His or her personality will balance from sorrowful depression, to agitated, and emotional before you can even close your eyes. Abnormal behavior patterns noted when he or she is in this mood is like tracking is like watching a volcano about to erupt, or a train wreck about to take place. Whether you are tracking an active volcano or looking at the logistics for a train wreck, you will never know for sure when this person’s personality will become volatile and erupt. Everything he tends to complain about at this point will revert back to a feeling of him or her saying, “Save me from my situation, or don’t abandon me!” This person’s syndrome will not just be of a physical nature. His or her feelings might cause this individual to falter, too. It is best when you find out about this personality to have the person immediately seek professional help, or get out of the relationship altogether. There is nothing worse than if you, too, start to decline like a sinking ship when you have always been able to tread water easily.


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  1. Thank you for this great article.
    It makes my experience with the bpd men (or closed) much clearer.
    I was in a hugely destructive relationship with a bpd man. He was not overtly violant, but he lied, cheated on me, did not want to commit, emotionally intruded me, he wanted to spend every free time of mine with him,(at home, no going out), he was “the poor puppy victim”, he isolated me from my life, friends (very skillfully). I was in the time after a serious death and struggle in my family (besides, the death of a borderliner which I did not know that time). The bpd guy swept me of my fingers. First time he saw me ? (he felt already in love with me). Then he made any single trick to get me past several months. Unfortunately, I fell into it. He read the book “Seduction” by Roberto Greeny -he once recommended it to me, in order “I get some info”. I believe he “warned” me about himself in his distorted mind. He told me who he was in this way and was “fine” in his conscience. I observed that he lured in many woman: in the coffee shop, at the college (even the teachers). With his smiles, kind voice, body movements, It was such an uncomfortable energy. I saw aura once around him ” a nasty personality”. He was a professional lier. Unbelievable. He lied about little things, but also about big ones.
    He was the practicing Casanova, pick-up artist (although he said that pick-up artists are losers). He made time for his seduction. I started losing my sleep. I felt headache after he left my space. I ended up with a physical disease. After 3 years of escaping him (I literally moved away). When I figured out to what extent he was an evil (and I believe it – I tried to track his energy, and I only experience “evil smog”, I could have hardly stand the fact that such people run on Earth. Unrecognized.
    I made some research about him. I found out that his gf ended up in hospital with chronic disease or in psychiatry. I found about his lying “business”. He lied to all his “friends ” (he had no), he also lied to his parents, teacher, psychologist.
    Btw, the psychologist helped him to keep in the relationship. I felt that there is somebody else pulling at me from a “highly mental skilled way”. The ex even made me to go to this psychologist when I wanted to leave him. The psychologist talked me out of leaving him (“he was a good guy” bablah). I am not sure whether the psychologist was such a jerk or so unaware of the psychopathy of this guy ?
    I feel that my body has been invaded (even though there was not much sex, I did not want to, he was fine about it, as he invaded me anyway differently, and who knows, maybe he was sexually cheating on me). Invaded like with tiny little needles that inject some poison into my body, and suck out my energy.
    He did hundred other things that are mentally very difficult for me to tackle (like using reverse phrases stating the opposite of the truth like “My parents don´t interfere in my life”, ” I had never, never never cheated on a woman. I had never never lied to any of my girlfriends. I love women. I would never harm any woman. I am a fun of women. I am your helper. I help you to save you” Very distorted. However, very subtle.
    Sometimes he told me some “wisdom” (his truth¨) like ” I believe that white lies are fine.
    So do my psychologist. One does not need to tell the whole truth”. I guess he also said about people who were abused that “it was their fault”. Any normal, healthy person would not let abused (he meant me…and thus, when I allow it, it is my fault, he is out of any obligation).
    At the end, when I confronted him, he told me sarcastically “you will get out of it”, I don´t care.
    So far, I did not get out.
    He was afraid of being caught up by police. I did not understand why. Did he violent somebody ?
    He studied law -but could have not managed in 10 or even more (he was stupid). He will never work, he cannot do it. Parents did pay for him -all. He never worked.
    Before and during the “honeymoon time”, he asked me out about my family situation, he studied me. He found out (for sure) that nobody will warn me, nobody will care (esp. when I moved away from home country, often as an escape from my borderline mother). I was a great catch for him.
    He kept our relationship secret. I had no idea about it at the beginning. He did not show me, did not go with me anywhere. When we were in town, he often looked around with rolling his eyes when he kissed me: he was checking whether somebody he knows cannot see him.
    He seduced my mother (when I insisted on meeting her): he said before “all mothers like me. I know how to make them love me”). He lured my mother emotionally in. It was an easy job for him. He lured her in probably also physically. She started to behave as his supporter/against me. She bought him expensive presents, food, cooked like a crazy (did not do it for me).
    I bet that it was boring for him. He started to tell me that he does not feel well with my mother as she “grasp at him”.

    Highly criminal people in their mind, emotional, physical abusiveness. I´d really love that such people will be caught for crimes even in adulthood and need to recompensate for it.
    I am sorry I had nobody to tell me that I was the victim, to go at least to search some mental health professional to warn me of this monster.

    The seduction: yes, his eyes, the intense conversations (but it depended, he molded himself and gave to everybody what he wanted). He wanted talk public, to be a politician (!), he said that he can hold everybody in his hands. It was not so much his mind-power (he was not very intelligent, truly), but his emotional intrusion, the body-intrusion and the mind-sweet talk.
    He wanted to be good in bed. He talked about his ex -gf who put him down (after he broke up with them: lie) that he was a zero in bed.
    The physical insecurity was huge.
    Deep down, he was a scared, insecure guy, very aware of his manipulative nature, pathological lying and luring women in, destroying their lives.

    I hope that women will learn not to cooperate with those people, not run into their asses (some women around him did, they knew he abused me, and they happily “helped”).

  2. As someone with BPD I find this article to have some truths but mostly painting those who suffer with this illness as manipulative and cruel. I have never pretended to be someone else to get a relationship be it friendly or romantic. I’ve been particular about who I’ve dated to ensure they can take the time to understand why I may have sudden mood changes or feel the need for reassurance that I’m good enough.

    Having BPD doesn’t make you a mastermind at using people who want to help you? It means you love stronger, you feel with more intensity whether it’s the good or the bad and you just want to be loved back but find it difficult because you struggle to love yourself.

    I live with my own worse enemy every day (myself) and yet I still carry on because the changes I can make and the connections I can have are worth it.

    So yeah some fair points but a bit too biased against the illness for me.

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