Exiting a relationship can not only cause anxiety but cause someone to question who they are and what there life is about. In order to find relief, if you can get in touch with why you were not collaborating and why you have chosen to allow the problems you had together to continue for as long as you did, you can exit the relationship with little or no scar tissue. For example, understanding of your fear of abandonment as well as what is called, repetition compulsion; that is the need to repeat past hurtful situations in an attempt to overcome them. These and other concepts are fully explained in my book, “The Power of Personality types in Love and Relationships.”
If after your breakup, you want to jump right into another relationship, you can be sure you’re dealing with issues like these. Instead of meeting someone else, a better plan would be to “meet yourself.” That is to get in touch with your fears and why you act the way you do in a relationship. Also why you may be choosing the wrong partners and why you may be accepting less than what you want or deserve. The pain you experience after a tough breakup can tell you exactly what your fears are and what you need to work on, to avoid further unhappiness or another bad relationship. Instead of running from your discomfort directly into a rebound relationship, confront your fears and evolve to a place that can make your next relationship more powerful than any other. This is also a time for creating the life you want if you haven’t been already. Many of the best artwork, music, poetry, businesses, and more, have been created during this time of heartache. That being said, realize the potential you have for healing, awareness, and creativity and act on them.
There are many ways to overcome the anxiety and fear and allow you to get back to being yourself. This will allow you to attract the best person suited for you and what you offer to a relationship. In order to overcome the intense pain and confusion of a breakup a psychological, spiritual, and nutritional approach often needs to be taken. Here are 5 ways to help you to overcome those feelings:
- Meditation – Meditation allows you to get in touch with who you are, think more logically and recognize and overcome your fears of being alone for the rest of your life; something people often tell themselves when they go through a break up. If you are unsure of the benefits for you, or how to meditate, you can visit my page on meditation at: www.TheArtofUnity.com/meditations.
- Exercise – Exercise has been proven to be more effective than many antidepressants. When we exercise, our bodies release mood-enhancing endorphins and muscle tension, also improve sleep and reduce the level of the stress hormone Cortisol. High intensity workouts also improve blood flow to the brain offering many benefits for your mood, memory and more.
- Avoid sugar, alcohol, and drugs. Alcohol acts as a stimulant as well as a depressant, and although these substances might distract you from your fears in the short-term they will make you feel worse, later amplifying them. Sugar has been shown to have very similar effects as drugs initiating erratic mood swings and depression.
- Know your “Emotional Prison.” An emotional prison is your place of strong negative emotion created by your ego, that prevents you from getting what you want. It’s the place you go when you worry about future events that are out of your control. A big part of overcoming anxiety mentally is awareness. In my book, “The Power of Personality Types in Love and Relationships” there are many techniques such as this that can point out when your attention is not in the now, and help you to find happiness.
- Get out in the sun and touch the earth. Being in touch with nature has profound effects on your physical and mental health. The book “Earthing” presents a lot of research showing how touching the earth is beneficial for your body, mood and overall health. Many studies have shown Vitamin D provided by the sun can improve your mood and health.
In closing I would suggest to take advantage of this transitional time and avoid jumping into another relationship. Just like anything else, when you are desperate, you accept less than what you deserve or what you want. It is best to spend time to learn what you want and what you can offer to a relationship, TheArtofUnity.com as well as my book are designed to show you just that.
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Bill Farr is the author of, The Power of Personality Types in Love and Relationships: Build a Great Relationship with the Right Partner and Stop Wasting Time on the Wrong one a wellness coach, and an instructor in various forms of meditation. As a student of human behavior, Bill’s work includes that of Western Psychology, Shamanism, Chi Gong and other forms. Bill teaches the connection of mind, body, and spirit and how that relates to everyday life and relationships. (www.TheArtofUnity.com)