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	<title>Love Engineer&#187; Temptation</title>
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	<link>http://loveengineer.com</link>
	<description>Dating, Relationship, Breakup, Marriage and Divorce Advice for, Men and Women</description>
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		<title>Post Divorce dating Rules?</title>
		<link>http://loveengineer.com/post-divorce-dating-rules/</link>
		<comments>http://loveengineer.com/post-divorce-dating-rules/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 18 Mar 2010 09:55:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LoveEngineer.com</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dating and Divorced]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bumpy Road]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Courage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating Rules]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dear Friend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Divorce Proceedings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gap]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Healing Process]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Instant Replay]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Long Term Relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paying Attention]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pitfalls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Plunge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Post]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rules]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scratch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Second Marriages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Serious Relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Singles Scene]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Temptation]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://loveengineer.com/?p=2173</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style " addthis:url='http://loveengineer.com/post-divorce-dating-rules/' addthis:title='Post Divorce dating Rules? '  ><a class="addthis_button_facebook_like" fb:like:layout="button_count"></a><a class="addthis_button_tweet"></a><a class="addthis_button_google_plusone" g:plusone:size="medium"></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_pill_style"></a></div>&#13; Post divorce advice basically helps you in re-establishing your life. The divorce proceedings are over and the court has finally granted divorce. Most of you are bound to be emotionally upset, and financially unsecured. But dear friend you have to muster courage and start it all afresh. The emotional, social, and financial dependency is [...]<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style addthis_32x32_style" addthis:url='http://loveengineer.com/post-divorce-dating-rules/' addthis:title='Post Divorce dating Rules? ' ><a class="addthis_button_preferred_1"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_2"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_3"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_4"></a><a class="addthis_button_compact"></a></div>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style " addthis:url='http://loveengineer.com/post-divorce-dating-rules/' addthis:title='Post Divorce dating Rules? '  ><a class="addthis_button_facebook_like" fb:like:layout="button_count"></a><a class="addthis_button_tweet"></a><a class="addthis_button_google_plusone" g:plusone:size="medium"></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_pill_style"></a></div><p>&#13;</p>
<p><strong></strong>Post divorce advice basically helps you in re-establishing your life. The <a rel="nofollow" onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/article_exit_link');" href="http://www.osbornes.net/html/family_divorce.html " target="_blank" title="Divorce">divorce</a> proceedings are over and the court has finally granted divorce. Most of you are bound to be emotionally upset, and financially unsecured. But dear friend you have to muster courage and start it all afresh. The emotional, social, and financial dependency is over, and you have to start it all from scratch.</p>
<p>Wait atleast two years before you take a plunge into another serious long-term relationship. Give yourself a good 2 years gap to figure out your own issues and get your life back. If you dont give yourself any break and again fall into the trap of serious relationship , you are bound to pick the same type of mate and have an instant replay of a marriage that ends in divorce. So instead of jeopardizing your relationship once again and following the same rough path, give yourself and your life a nice good break.</p>
<p>Various studies and statistics on second marriages ending in divorces is 60%. That&#8217;s because we didn&#8217;t take the time to learn enough about ourselves the first time we got divorced.</p>
<p>Moreover re-entering the singles&#8217; scene can be a bumpy road, especially if you haven&#8217;t been &#8220;on the market&#8221; for a long time. As a result, re-emerging daters often find themselves face-to-face with a host of possible pitfalls, ones that can thwart even the most resilient of dating efforts.</p>
<p>Gradually when you feel you are ready to date , enjoy your first relationship but don&#8217;t expect it to lead to marriage. Just resist the temptation to jump in irrevocably. You&#8217;re probably less ready than you think. View dating as part of the healing process and as a way to make more friends rather than find Prince Charming. You can meet people in classes, in clubs, on the Internet. Your dating skills may be rusting, but concentrate on paying attention to the other person and beware of too much venting about your former mate or marriage. Talk about neutral things like work or sports.</p>
<p>The key to successful post divorce dating is to have fun with it. You have to let go of the past and give yourself permission to be happy with life as it is and yourself. You are an attractive, worthy individual who deserves the attention and fun. Get out and enjoy yourself!</p>
<div style="margin:5px;padding:5px;border:1px solid #c1c1c1;font-size: 10px;">
<p>Afsheen Khalid writes articles on legal issues significantly emphasizing on <a>divorce law</a> and <a>family law</a> </p>
</div>
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		<title>8 Quick Tips to Online Dating Success</title>
		<link>http://loveengineer.com/8-quick-tips-to-online-dating-success/</link>
		<comments>http://loveengineer.com/8-quick-tips-to-online-dating-success/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Mar 2010 16:59:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LoveEngineer.com</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Online Dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating Statistics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fast Paced Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Foundations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gardening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Great Relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Intimate Encounters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Laugh]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Long Term Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love And Happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Online]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Online Dating Sites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Online Statistics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Perfect Match]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Profiles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Quick]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Building]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships And Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Success]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Success Tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Temptation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tips]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://loveengineer.com/?p=1683</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style " addthis:url='http://loveengineer.com/8-quick-tips-to-online-dating-success/' addthis:title='8 Quick Tips to Online Dating Success '  ><a class="addthis_button_facebook_like" fb:like:layout="button_count"></a><a class="addthis_button_tweet"></a><a class="addthis_button_google_plusone" g:plusone:size="medium"></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_pill_style"></a></div>&#13; Tips to online dating are searched for every day by thousands of people entering this quite new field because they quickly end up overwhelmed, under prepared and confused by the entire process and end up giving up or hopefully finding the way to leverage these great relationship building sites to their advantage! So if [...]<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style addthis_32x32_style" addthis:url='http://loveengineer.com/8-quick-tips-to-online-dating-success/' addthis:title='8 Quick Tips to Online Dating Success ' ><a class="addthis_button_preferred_1"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_2"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_3"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_4"></a><a class="addthis_button_compact"></a></div>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style " addthis:url='http://loveengineer.com/8-quick-tips-to-online-dating-success/' addthis:title='8 Quick Tips to Online Dating Success '  ><a class="addthis_button_facebook_like" fb:like:layout="button_count"></a><a class="addthis_button_tweet"></a><a class="addthis_button_google_plusone" g:plusone:size="medium"></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_pill_style"></a></div><p>&#13;</p>
<p>Tips to online dating are searched for every day by thousands of people entering this quite new field because they quickly end up overwhelmed, under prepared and confused by the entire process and end up giving up or hopefully finding the way to leverage these great relationship building sites to their advantage! So if you want to find your perfect match in the virtual dating arena you need to have the foundations perfect and understand exactly how these sites work and how people use them to find love and happiness that can end in intimate encounters or great long term relationships and marriage.</p>
<p>
<p><strong>1. Write a Great Profile</strong><br /> This is absolutely essential to finding someone who you will connect with intimately because in this fast paced environment where people can browse hundreds of profiles a day yours must stand out!<br /> A quick checklist:</p>
<p>Makes your profile unique, it has to be about you in depth because everyone likes to go out, hang out with friends and laugh. What makes you different and unique and interesting?<br />Go into detail! Do not just say you like to do gardening for instance, say what you like to grow and what you like about it. People are looking for something that they can find interesting or similar so don’t be shy.<br />Do not lie or embellish! If you are going to meet your potential dates, lovers and maybe suitable people for long term relationships starting out with a lie is obviously a bad thing<br />Do all of this but make your style quick and to the point, you need to fit a lot of information in an easy reading style without going on for too long as people who see too much text may just keep browsing.</p>
<p><strong>2. Have a Good Profile Picture</strong><br /> Some respected online dating sites have statistics that say having a profile picture increases your chances of getting replies and people initiating contact by more than 50%! If you are nervous about posting a picture of yourself please resist the temptation to post a picture of a much younger version of yourself or one where you might have been a lot thinner as again starting off a relationship with deception does not help!<br /> Find a good current picture of yourself and if you do not have one consider getting a professional to take a flattering one of yourself, you need to show all your good points but be honest about it.</p>
<p>
<p><strong>3. Do not be Shy!</strong><br /> At first you may not know what to do but the best way to get started is to plunge right in! Do not be shy, start browsing profiles and searching. Send emails to many people who look interesting as this does not immediately mean an appointment for a date it is just an introduction to see if there is interest and you may even gain a friend if not a lover.</p>
<p>
<p><strong>4. Do not fear Rejection</strong><br /> This tip to online dating is one of the most valuable to those that might be trying virtual dating because they find dating in bars and clubs intimidating (which it is!). It can hurt when you do not get a reply from that girl or guy you felt you matched so well or they replied with a ‘thanks but no thanks’. You have to remember though that online dating is like speed flirting, lots and lots of chances with everyone looking not just for a maybe but for a perfect match in their own mind which you can not know all the time. You in turn will do the same to many other people but remember it is not personal, it is just the way things are in the fast paced online dating game. You suffer no social repercussions from this and you may even gain online friends if not significant others.</p>
<p>
<p><strong>5. Be Picky!</strong><br /> As you become accustomed to the way things operate online you will realize that you have control of your dating here. You can find a dozen dates a week or you might settle for only a few that matches very well depending on your specifications. You do not need to feel compelled to take up offers, pick and choose only the best so you maintain control of your dating life!</p>
<p>
<p><strong>6. Flirt!</strong><br /> Play the game! Use the online “kisses” or “winks” that many sites use to show interest, be a bit naughty! Have Fun! There are very few social ramifications to this sort of dating so feel free to be yourself and be a little bit wild because wallflowers get ignored and guys and girls are both attracted to confident people!</p>
<p>
<p><strong>7. Use the Tools of the Site</strong><br /> Take advantage of some of the great tools these sites have to offer including blogs, video chat, chat rooms, VOIP and more. Each level of contact you make reveals a bit more of a potential date so find out what they are all about and get involved!</p>
<p>
<p><strong>8. Use a GOOD Dating site</strong><br /> This is the biggie! There are many dating sites out there and quite frankly it can be confusing as to which ones you want to sign up for. Most of the big sites offer a range of options including sexual orientation, racial and religious specific sub sites for better matches. Some are also more focused on fun while others have a more long term relationship focus. The pay sites are also the best funded and have members who are serious about the entire process unlike free sites who have a lot of browsers and uncommitted members who may just waste your time or even worse be predators or scam artists.</p>
<p>
<p>If these <a rel="nofollow" onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/article_exit_link');" href="http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/dating/dating-site-reviews/">tips to online dating</a> have you itching to get into the game and find great friends and potential dates and lovers for excitement or commitment then click below to discover which online dating site is best for you!</p>
<p><strong><a rel="nofollow" onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/article_exit_link');" href="http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/dating/dating-site-reviews/">Dating Site Reviews</a></strong>           </p>
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<p><a rel="nofollow" onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/article_exit_link');" href="http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/dating/">http://www.loveiscomplicated.info/dating/</a></p>
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		<title>Tips for creating great profile on online dating site</title>
		<link>http://loveengineer.com/tips-for-creating-great-profile-on-online-dating-site/</link>
		<comments>http://loveengineer.com/tips-for-creating-great-profile-on-online-dating-site/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 08 Mar 2010 15:56:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LoveEngineer.com</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dating and Divorced]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Companion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Creating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating Site]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dating Sites]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Excitement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gorgeous Blue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Great]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Independent Entrepreneur]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Initial Sign]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Interests And Hobbies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leading Online Dating Service]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Loving God]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Online]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Online Dating Service]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Online Dating Services]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Place Profile]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Profile]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Profile Creation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Shades]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Site]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Temptation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[True Love]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://loveengineer.com/?p=1391</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style " addthis:url='http://loveengineer.com/tips-for-creating-great-profile-on-online-dating-site/' addthis:title='Tips for creating great profile on online dating site '  ><a class="addthis_button_facebook_like" fb:like:layout="button_count"></a><a class="addthis_button_tweet"></a><a class="addthis_button_google_plusone" g:plusone:size="medium"></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_pill_style"></a></div>&#13; Dating undoubtedly is becoming rising trend especially among youngsters. Most of us are using online dating service for finding a true love, companion, flirting or just to hang around with someone you like. Online dating sites are keeping the huge database of members. If you would like to search profiles, you need to register [...]<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style addthis_32x32_style" addthis:url='http://loveengineer.com/tips-for-creating-great-profile-on-online-dating-site/' addthis:title='Tips for creating great profile on online dating site ' ><a class="addthis_button_preferred_1"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_2"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_3"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_4"></a><a class="addthis_button_compact"></a></div>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style " addthis:url='http://loveengineer.com/tips-for-creating-great-profile-on-online-dating-site/' addthis:title='Tips for creating great profile on online dating site '  ><a class="addthis_button_facebook_like" fb:like:layout="button_count"></a><a class="addthis_button_tweet"></a><a class="addthis_button_google_plusone" g:plusone:size="medium"></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_pill_style"></a></div><p>&#13;</p>
<p>Dating undoubtedly is becoming rising trend especially among youngsters. Most of us are using online dating service for finding a true love, companion, flirting or just to hang around with someone you like. Online dating sites are keeping the huge database of members. If you would like to search profiles, you need to register yourself with it. After initial sign-up, you are required to create your own profile, which will be added in your chosen online dating site&#8217;s database. In fact, profile creation is the integral part of registration process with almost all the leading online dating services.</p>
<p>&#13;<br />
&#13;</p>
<p>Writing a profile is an art and it becomes too special if you gonna make it for online dating purpose. Profile needs to be very catchy, it must also reflect your personality in the first place. Profile should arouse temptation for other members to look at your profile and interest to contact you. That&#8217;s why you are at online dating site, right?</p>
<p>&#13;<br />
&#13;</p>
<p>&#8220;Blond gorgeous, blue-eyed, widely traveled, nature loving, God fearing, benevolent and fun loving independent entrepreneur for an advertising firm looking mate for the same.&#8221; Perhaps these few lines could add spice to your profile.</p>
<p>&#13;<br />
&#13;</p>
<p>Following few tips could help you making your profile more genuine and creative in leading <a rel="nofollow" onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/article_exit_link');" href="http://www.datingservices-online.net">online dating service</a> </p>
<p>&#13;<br />
&#13;</p>
<p>Be positive<br />&#13;<br />
Since your profile reflects your personality, you must take precautions while creation. It must reflect positive side of your personality. Nobody likes negative shades in you. Hence, you need to be very positive.</p>
<p>&#13;<br />
&#13;</p>
<p>Create excitement<br />&#13;<br />
Make profile exciting. Why someone should take interest in you if you do not sound exciting? This excitement can be created by presenting list of your interests and hobbies. Be specific and avoid making it too lengthy. Mention interests which you think would be exciting to opposite sex. Remember, simple and boring profiles are over-looked many times.</p>
<p>&#13;<br />
&#13;</p>
<p>Be upbeat<br />&#13;<br />
Make sure you sound like dream person who would be fun to know. You should be the person everyone is waiting for. </p>
<p>&#13;<br />
&#13;</p>
<p>Reveal facts<br />&#13;<br />
Mention the facts that matter most to you, so are for your dating partner. Hence, stick to facts and not hype. Be genuine in disclosing facts. Giving any false information could minimize your chances of getting good responses.</p>
<p>&#13;<br />
&#13;</p>
<p>Honesty is the best policy<br />&#13;<br />
While filling up the columns for your personal habits and marital status, be honest in disclosing about your height, body type, smoking and drinking habits, and marital status. You are also required to upload true photo of yourself. </p>
<p>&#13;<br />
&#13;</p>
<p>Realistic approach<br />&#13;<br />
While dating online, keep in mind that you must find someone who is also looking for dating. Creating profiles for whom you think won&#8217;t be responsive, is just waste of time. </p>
<p>&#13;<br />
&#13;</p>
<p>Accessibility<br />&#13;<br />
Your profile should be accessible and open for others to approach. This will open the whole new world of contacts for you.</p>
<p>&#13;<br />
&#13;</p>
<p>Upload photo<br />&#13;<br />
Profile with photos has 15 times more chances for getting responses quickly than those without ones. In fact, profiles with photos produce great search results in online dating site&#8217;s databases. It is a fact that people prefer to read profiles having fascinating photos and contact them, hence do not lose the opportunity of finding mate just for being negligent in uploading your photo. Some online dating services provide options of uploading more than one photograph, therefore, you have better chances to upload your good photos in different poses. Make it well-focused, close-up shots and then no eyes could escape seeing your profile.</p>
<p>&#13;<br />
&#13;</p>
<p>To know much more about online dating service, please do visit at  </p>
<p>&#13;<br />
&#13;</p>
<p>Linda Crowford is an author for many successful articles and ebooks written on human relationship specially romance, dating, marriage and divorce. She is also associated with <a rel="nofollow" onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/article_exit_link');" href="http://www.datingservices-online.net">online dating service</a> She gives helpful advices to her clients.</p>
<div style="margin:5px;padding:5px;border:1px solid #c1c1c1;font-size: 10px;">
<p>Linda Crowford is an author for many successful articles and ebooks written on human relationship specially romance, dating, marriage and divorce. She is also associated with <a rel="nofollow" onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/article_exit_link');" href="http://www.datingservices-online.net">online dating service</a> and <a rel="nofollow" onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/article_exit_link');" href="http://www.datingservices-online.net">dating services online</a> She gives helpful advices to her clients.</p>
</div>
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		<title>Dating Tips for Single Mothers</title>
		<link>http://loveengineer.com/dating-tips-for-single-mothers/</link>
		<comments>http://loveengineer.com/dating-tips-for-single-mothers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Mar 2010 07:57:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>LoveEngineer.com</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dating and Divorced]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ballet]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://loveengineer.com/?p=853</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style " addthis:url='http://loveengineer.com/dating-tips-for-single-mothers/' addthis:title='Dating Tips for Single Mothers '  ><a class="addthis_button_facebook_like" fb:like:layout="button_count"></a><a class="addthis_button_tweet"></a><a class="addthis_button_google_plusone" g:plusone:size="medium"></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_pill_style"></a></div>&#13; Dating Tips For Single Parents The following article has some excellent dating tips to ease your way into the single scene. Let&#8217;s face it, dating after your divorce can be a scary thing, especially if you&#8217;re a single mom. How will the kids react? How does a single person dress and behave? It can [...]<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style addthis_32x32_style" addthis:url='http://loveengineer.com/dating-tips-for-single-mothers/' addthis:title='Dating Tips for Single Mothers ' ><a class="addthis_button_preferred_1"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_2"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_3"></a><a class="addthis_button_preferred_4"></a><a class="addthis_button_compact"></a></div>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style " addthis:url='http://loveengineer.com/dating-tips-for-single-mothers/' addthis:title='Dating Tips for Single Mothers '  ><a class="addthis_button_facebook_like" fb:like:layout="button_count"></a><a class="addthis_button_tweet"></a><a class="addthis_button_google_plusone" g:plusone:size="medium"></a><a class="addthis_counter addthis_pill_style"></a></div><p>&#13;<br />
              Dating Tips For Single Parents
<p>The following article has some excellent dating tips to ease your way into the single scene.  Let&#8217;s face it, dating after your divorce can be a scary thing, especially if you&#8217;re a single mom. How will the kids react? How does a single person dress and behave?  It can daunting even thinking about dating again, but it can also be very rewarding. You can be someone other than just Mom.</p>
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<p><a rel="nofollow" onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/article_exit_link');" href="http://www.lovein30days.com" target="_blank" title="Love in 30 days">Love in 30 days</a> </p>
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<p>For five years, I was a single mother with two boys. And even though I was lucky enough to have a steady guy (a single dad) in the picture, questions came up all the time. Was it okay for all of us to sleep over at one of our houses? Should we take vacations together? When this relationship ended and another one began a few months later, I was in uncharted waters again. Based on these experiences and the advice of JoAnn Magdoff, a psychotherapist in private practice in New York, I came up with ten rules for single moms. If you&#8217;re dating—or want to be but feel nervous about it—keep these dating tips in mind.</p>
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<p><strong>1. You make the rules. </strong>Many people seem to have an opinion about single mothers, and their advice when it comes to your private life is: Take up needlepoint. Forget them. A single mother can date, seriously or casually. A single mother can be seen out dancing on a Saturday night. A single mother can even have sex!</p>
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<p><strong>2. Nobody loves a parade.</strong> It&#8217;s not necessary to introduce your kids to every guy who takes you to a movie. Wait until you&#8217;re secure in the relationship before you let your kids perceive someone as &#8220;Mommy&#8217;s boyfriend.&#8221; Have a reliable sitter lined up, suggests Magdoff, so you don&#8217;t end up bringing children along before you&#8217;re ready.</p>
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<p><strong>3. Don&#8217;t lean too hard too soon.</strong> Resist the temptation to make the new guy a parenting helper right away, adds Magdoff. Until you&#8217;ve actually decided that the time is right, don&#8217;t ask him to pick up your daughter from ballet just because it&#8217;s on his way over for dinner. &#8220;Hold back,&#8221; Magdoff says. &#8220;Don&#8217;t have him take on parenting roles until it feels stupid not to. When all three of you are saying, &#8216;But ballet class is right by his office,&#8217; then it&#8217;s time.&#8221;</p>
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<p><strong>4. Nothing but the truth.</strong> While discretion is recommended, lying and sneaking are not. If you think extramarital sex is okay, when questions arise you should be able to explain to your children (in an age-appropriate manner) why and under what conditions. If you can&#8217;t, then don&#8217;t do it. Behave as you want your kids to when they reach early adulthood.</p>
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<p><strong>5. Have your priorities straight.</strong> Keep your hormones in check when making decisions. Maybe it&#8217;s more important for you to be at the school basketball playoffs than away for the weekend with your beau. But on the other hand:</p>
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<p><strong>6. Don&#8217;t be a martyr.</strong> Magdoff warns against using your kids as an excuse to avoid intimacy—putting them between you and your social life. In other words, sometimes the weekend away is more important than the basketball game.</p>
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<p><strong>7. When you&#8217;re out, be out.</strong> One way single mothers sabotage relationships and act out their guilty feelings, Magdoff adds, is by talking about their children constantly while on a date. &#8220;Five minutes max,&#8221; she says.</p>
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<p><strong>8. Don&#8217;t succumb to pressure.</strong> My long-term relationship was a lot more than dating and a lot less than marriage—and was sometimes a little difficult to explain to outsiders. But it was right for me and my kids at the time. I did what I thought best, and that&#8217;s why I have no regrets.</p>
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<p><strong>9. Leave when it&#8217;s time.</strong> One of the more trying moments in a single mother&#8217;s life is splitting up with someone her kids care about. I know women who have stayed in iffy relationships &#8220;for the kids.&#8221; This makes even less sense when you&#8217;re not married. Change and loss are part of life, things everyone has to deal with. If a particular bond is really strong, perhaps there&#8217;s a way for that adult and child to maintain a connection.</p>
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<p><strong>10. Expect resistance.</strong> Magdoff says, &#8220;Lots of times women are dating perfectly nice guys and their kids are horrible to them, especially if it&#8217;s the first guy after the divorce or the first one you get serious about.&#8221; One articulate ten-year-old Magdoff knows admitted to his mother: &#8220;It&#8217;s not Bill who&#8217;s the problem—I like him. It&#8217;s you. I used to have you all to myself, and now I have to share you.&#8221; Acknowledge and accept kids&#8217; feelings. Say, &#8220;I love you as much as ever, but sometimes I&#8217;m not here when you want me to be. I like to spend time with my friends, just like you do.&#8221; Don&#8217;t let your kids control you—or try and force them to like the guy, either.</p>
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