In the first place, men and women were created differently from each other and even if you marry a woman from your own country, it still takes effort to make a relationship work. When a foreigner dates a Filipina lady whose background is totally different, it means both must double their effort for things to click. Unless you were dragged to the marriage chamber with a handkerchief over your eyes, you are aware of this and saying “I do” means you have to accept her for what she is, what she stands for. Here are some issues where you differ:

Attachment to her family. For a Filipina lady, family always comes first so the need to be in constant communication with her family is always there. She will always think what is better for her family.

Money. In a Filipino family, the woman usually holds the purse strings and does the budget. One habit you may not understand is a Filipina lady may splurge and spend hard-earned money on fiestas, celebrations.

Food.The Filipina lady may adjust to your taste but she will still crave for her usual rice and viand servings. She also eats foods you may consider bizarre like balut, a boiled day-old chick egg dipped in vinegar and salt, bagoong (anchovy), and tuyo (dried fish). The smell of these foods may be disgusting to you but please do not call the police to arrest her if she eats these (although there is a danger that your neighbors will!).

Growing up with the idea that food is not that easy to find, your girlfriend always thinks of ways to save, so do not be surprised to see leftover food from breakfast reappear at the table for lunch. When you dine out in a restaurant, your girlfriend would probably ask the waiter to wrap what is left to take home. Deep in her heart, she may be feeling guilty and wondering what her family is having for dinner while she is at the plush restaurant with you.

Privacy. When a Filipina lady already considers you as family, she may take things for granted and be offended when you react if she inspects your wallet, emails, and even cellphone messages. To her, it is not an intrusion of privacy but a symbol that you trust her and that since you would be married anyway, there should be no secrets between you.

Time. When your girlfriend says “I will be there around 6 o’clock”, do not expect here to be there on the dot. Expect her up to even an hour later as she does not want to appear “too eager”. Filipino time is never on time.

Communication problems. Your girlfriend may not be able to tell you exactly what she wants. She is not trained to holler and shout when she needs to and you may not understand what she means when she says something. She may even expect you to read her raised eyebrows and puckered lip.

Permanence in relationship. Your view on marriage and relationships may differ. For a Filipina lady, marriage is a permanent thing and she will not think of divorce when things go wrong. Remember “it is because you are so different from each other that you have so much to share”.