Have you ever wondered why some people seem to get all the dates whilst others only get the brush off? Here are some really great secrets that can make the difference between being popular and having fun, and staring out the window on your own.
1. Build charisma and develop rapport by surreptitiously mimicking your date’s non verbal behaviour and unconsciously they will believe that you are just like them and a suitable match, plus every time you meet you can turn that event into a successful outcome, and turn your new found friendships into lasting relationships.
2. When you write your profile, offer honesty in what you say about yourself and your life. Remember, everyone is looking for love but exaggeration and white lies offend when they are exposed. Sounding interesting can often turn into a list of ‘dare-devil’ antics that put people off
3. Adding a photograph is fraught with dangers so most people are so self-conscious that they just leave them out of their ‘profile’ so many people who want to see who they are e-mailing don’t click through. Do put up an honest photo which is a true representation of how you really look now, so that when you finally get to meet they don’t find out that the photo was taken some twenty years ago. A certain put off.
4. To build up your confidence and realise just what it is you have to offer someone. ask five of your good friends or family members what it is they like most about you, and learn how to include some of these ideas in your ‘profile‘.
5. Make a list of things you do well or like to do and choose one or two favourite activities to talk about so that you never feel at a loss, but don‘t go on for hours as you risk boring them.
6. Chat to people online as if they are in the same room and as you and relax, play some nice music and think about something good that happened recently – they will pick up on your up-beat mood as you communicate.
7. When you speak on the phone to a prospective date, think about something good that happened to you recently and your whole manner will improve, plus you will convey something of yourself, of that feeling and that moment to the other and you will seem approachable, someone who would be nice to be with.
8. When you meet, and when you depart smile and your date with have that smile as a lasting memory until you meet up again.
9. If you practice skills in knowing what to say and when to say it, what to do and when to do it, you will have a far greater success at building relationships.
10. To show interest and to take the pressure off yourself, ask open ended questions about their tastes and interests, usually “What X do you like,” or, “How do you feel about X ?” will get the ball rolling, and they will appreciate both the attention and the flow of conversation, after all, it is mainly about themselves and we all like to share our thoughts with others.
11. Maintaining eye contact for just the right amount of time is very important. You can convey your honest and trustworthiness by holding gaze for about four seconds, but come across as shifty if you over do it and hold gaze up to seven seconds. Only intimate lovers do that, so you will make them feel uncomfortable unless the time is right.
12. Everyone can learn how to choose a mate that is right for them, how to turn a conversation into a friendship and how to turn a friendship into a lasting relationship. All they need to do is know how.

To find out how, try reading my e-book Valentines Forever, 50 ways to meet and keep friends.

Extracts from ‘How To Succeed At The Personal Relationship Game
By Angela Saunders Ch. Psychol.
Ó Inner World Publications \Ltd and Angela Saunders 02.02.06

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