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Does Romance Have a Place in Dating? ? Part 3

April 5, 2010 By LoveEngineer.com Leave a Comment

If you’ve gone out with a woman 47 times, and you don’t know if she likes you, and you’re now thinking, “Oh, hey… great idea! I’ll buy her a flower and she’ll feel attracted to me…” then get a new idea.

Romance isn’t a way to make a woman feel attracted to you.

Romance is a way to amplify attraction that is already happening.

Read that last part again… Don’t try to make a woman feel attracted to you with romance!

Attraction is created by factors other than gifts, dinners, flowers, etc.

If she’s not feeling attracted to you, then showing her that you’re attracted to her probably isn’t going to change it… in fact, it may just push her away.

I know, I know… you once heard about a guy who pursued a woman for 9 years until she finally gave in and married him. Well, that might work, but I don’t have 9 years (unless it’s Cindy Crawford… yeah, I know she’s like 50, but she’s still hot).

Earlier I mentioned a couple of great ideas. You can cook her a special meal that has meaning… and tell the story behind it. Stories are romantic, especially if the story contains a love story.

And small gifts can be romantic as well (I don’t like big gifts because they change the dynamic of the relationship and can create all kinds of feelings that it’s a trade of affection for money, etc.).

If you pay attention, a woman will mention something that she really likes. It could be a kind of flower, a kind of music, an author, etc. If you want to be romantic (after you know that she’s attracted to you) you can get something thoughtful then write a card that says, “I was thinking about you, and I found this… thought you would like it. Kiss Kiss.”

Use romance as the spice, and not the main dish. Use it to amplify, not as your main strategy.

Romance combined with the techniques that I teach is a very powerful combination.

Double Your Dating – What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women. David DeAngelo will show you the secrets that most men will never know about women. Improve your dating with David’s dating tips and dating advice.

Filed Under: Dating Ideas Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Dating After Divorce – Tips To Getting Back Out In The Dating World After Divorce

March 17, 2010 By LoveEngineer.com Leave a Comment

Dating after divorce can be intimidating. For some people, it may be a few decades since you’ve been out there in the dating scene. As a divorce coach and author, a big concern my clients have is what to do to ensure they have more success in their future relationships.

Here are some important tips to get you successfully back into the dating world and on the road to successful, loving relationships.

1. Date Yourself First

The best predictor of the relationships you’ll have with romantic partners is the kind of relationship you have with yourself. Date yourself first and take some time to get your feet back on the ground. Give yourself the kind of love and appreciation you’d like to have in a future partner. Light a candle for dinner, buy yourself some flowers, and tell yourself how gorgeous you look in the morning.

2. Beware the Rebound Relationship

Take your first relationship out of the gate with a grain of salt. Think of the first relationship after divorce like training wheels on a bicycle. It helps you get back in the game, but may not be something you want to keep in the long run. Beware if you’re the first relationship for your new partner as well.

3. Get Clear on What You’re Looking For

From your divorce experience, you probably have a clear picture of the characteristics, behaviors and attitudes that DON’T work for you. Write them each down and then ask what you do want. For example, instead of self-centered or unfaithful, you may want to list caring and loyal as qualities you’d like your date to have. Put your focus on the positive qualities and use them as a yardstick to decide who to date or not.

4. Keep Your Ex-partner Out Your Future Relationships

Do you find yourself endlessly talking about your ex, or comparing your new partner to your old? Stop and get honest about whether you’re really ready to date again. Sharing about past relationships as information is fine. Endlessly psychoanalyzing and complaining is not, plus it’s a big turn-off.

If you’re divorced, why are you allowing this person to consume so much of your time and attention? Find someone like a trusted friend, divorce coach or therapist to help you work out your unresolved feelings.

5. Do Something Each Week That Scares You

Divorce is an opportunity to not only rebuild, but reinvent your life. And that can feel scary! It’s important to expand your comfort zone. Do something each week (or even each day) that scares you or stretches you. Check out a new class you’ve been interested in or go to a singles mixer. If you feel your fear coming up, welcome it as a sign that you are stretching your comfort zone and are on the right track.

Success Strategist, coach and best-selling author, Carolyn B. Ellis, is the founder of ThriveAfterDivorce.com, created for divorced people who want to stop struggling and start thriving. To get free tips on every aspect of living through a divorce, from legal issues to single parenting to getting back into the dating world, visit www.ThriveAfterDivorce.com.

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Your First Date From your Free Dating Website

March 16, 2010 By LoveEngineer.com Leave a Comment

After exchanging a few emails and established enough time, it is now time to meet face to face with your guy or gal from your free dating website. First dates with people you meet in a free dating website are much like blind dates, only that you know quite a little about your date. You may already know what your date look like if you have exchanged photos. Nevertheless, the thrill and the excitement of a first date will surely be present.

Where to go on your first date

It is but prudent to meet your date in a public place. Remember that you are meeting someone you don’t know, there is still a chance that their attitude in reality is different from how you perceived them to be with your online exchanges. So, have your first date in a place where there will be other people. A park, a coffee shop or a restaurant make great venues.

As in real life, make your first free dating website date quick and short. This way, you will not be stuck when there is no chemistry. If there is, there’s always a next date to follow. During the course of your date, remember to smile as it can be your most powerful weapon. If you are the man, it will never hurt to buy flowers or chocolates before meeting your date. Try not to order anything that would be incredibly messy if you are eating out. Of course, all these come secondary. What is important is that you focus on the interaction between you and your date.

When you first meet your date from your free dating website, do not expect to feel an instant attraction. If you are disappointed about how your date looks like, do not close your doors immediately. Instead, give it a little more time for the conversation to unfold. Instant chemistry is extremely rare, as is “love at first site.”

You may already know a bit about the other person from your initial communication through the free dating website. These bits and pieces can make great topics for conversation. It will be a good idea to share about yourself as it will become easier for your date to open up as well. However, never try to hog the conversation. Make sure you take time to ask about your date as well. Ask the person about their interests, personality and background. Observe how your date reacts to your questions and be sensitive when there are topics they are reluctant to discuss.

It can be stressful to meet someone from a free dating website for the first time. There is that fear of rejection, the wanting to get accepted, the apprehension that the other person might not be exactly as you imagined – prepare to go through all these. However, do not put more stress on yourself than you should. Do not think too much, and never expect too much. Keep everything spontaneous and free-flowing. Never exert too much or work too hard. Instead, focus on the conversation and enjoy the experience. Yes, whether you like your date or not.

We can help you find the perfect partner of your dreams. Sign up with us now and be ready to bid goodbye to singlehood. Please visit FREE Dating Website or Dating Website for more information.

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Does Romance Have a Place in Dating? – Part 3

March 14, 2010 By LoveEngineer.com Leave a Comment

If you’ve gone out with a woman 47 times, and you don’t know if she likes you, and you’re now thinking, “Oh, hey… great idea! I’ll buy her a flower and she’ll feel attracted to me…” then get a new idea.

Romance isn’t a way to make a woman feel attracted to you.

Romance is a way to amplify attraction that is already happening.

Read that last part again… Donâ??t try to make a woman feel attracted to you with romance!

Attraction is created by factors other than gifts, dinners, flowers, etc.

If she’s not feeling attracted to you, then showing her that you’re attracted to her probably isn’t going to change it… in fact, it may just push her away.

I know, I know… you once heard about a guy who pursued a woman for 9 years until she finally gave in and married him. Well, that might work, but I don’t have 9 years (unless it’s Cindy Crawford… yeah, I know she’s like 50, but she’s still hot).

Earlier I mentioned a couple of great ideas. You can cook her a special meal that has meaning… and tell the story behind it. Stories are romantic, especially if the story contains a love story.

And small gifts can be romantic as well (I don’t like big gifts because they change the dynamic of the relationship and can create all kinds of feelings that it’s a trade of affection for money, etc.).

If you pay attention, a woman will mention something that she really likes. It could be a kind of flower, a kind of music, an author, etc. If you want to be romantic (after you know that she’s attracted to you) you can get something thoughtful then write a card that says, “I was thinking about you, and I found this… thought you would like it. Kiss Kiss.”

Use romance as the spice, and not the main dish. Use it to amplify, not as your main strategy.

Romance combined with the techniques that I teach is a very powerful combination.

Double Your Dating – What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women. David DeAngelo will show you the secrets that most men will never know about women. Improve your dating with David’s dating tips and dating advice.

Filed Under: Dating Ideas Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Safety Precautions for Seniors Dating Online

March 13, 2010 By LoveEngineer.com Leave a Comment

Older Americans can find themselves alone after many years of marriage because of death or divorce. It certainly isn’t an uncommon occurrence today. These people find themselves alone and lonely and more and more often, they are turning on their computers in order to look for the companionship that they so desperately want and need.


These older Americans didn’t grow up in a computerized world. Many of them are very computer savvy, but there are many who are not. They may have used a computer for shopping or banking or emailing family and friends, but the world of online dating is something that is truly out of their realm of expertise.


Back in their dating years, the young man always made the first move. HE called her. HE asked for a date and when she agreed, he showed up with flowers in one hand and a box of chocolates in the other. Dating was courting in their experience, but somewhere along the way the rules got changed…a LOT.


Now don’t misunderstand. Older people are well aware of how the world around them has changed over the years. What they are not aware of, because they haven’t had any need to know, is how the dating scene has changed. Dating online is a completely foreign idea and one that takes some getting used to.


There are online dating sites that are devoted specifically to senior online dating. The members are all supposed to be seniors. Sometimes older Americans will find these senior online dating sites and join one of them, but not always. When they do join a senior online dating site, they sometimes mistakenly believe that all of the other members really are seniors like themselves.


Many times seniors are in a position of being financially secure. They have worked their whole lives, saved and made good investments. Money (or the lack of it) is no longer an issue to them. Sometimes seniors will simply overlook the fact that for many people money (or the lack of it) IS an issue. This can be true for younger people, but it can also be true for some older people as well.


Seniors who engage in online dating should be very, very careful about giving out personal information. The problem is that sometimes seniors will fail to recognize exactly what information in the wrong hands can do them harm.


The very first thing that some seniors do when they begin an online dating relationship is supply their partner with their real name and the name of the city in which they live. Many seniors do not regard this information as dangerous to provide. They wouldn’t hand over their social security number, but they will readily supply their real name and their city of residence.


With no more than these two pieces of information, a person who has motives that are less than honorable can find out the home address, telephone number, what property is owned, and a boatload of other information.


For seniors, as well as for all others who engage in online dating, it is very important to withhold real names and cities of residence until you have established a relationship over a period of months. Scam artists and crooks don’t spend months to gather information. Unless it is readily supplied, these jerks move on the easier targets.


As with any relationship, take your time and let it develop slowly over time. There is somebody out there for everyone and the Internet is a great place to find that special person. However, when you think you’ve found the ‘right’ one, if they are the person you think they are and want them to be, they certainly won’t mind going slowly and cautiously.

Would you like to spice up your life, add some romance, or find your soul mate? Visit RagingHearts.com for reviews of the best online dating services. You will also find a wealth of online dating tips, self help, & relationship advice. Visit http://www.RagingHearts.com to meet the person you desire.

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