Dating Seeking – Mature Dating & Dealing With Your Date?s Older Children

For mature singles involved in dating seeking, when you find someone who’s been married before and has kids, especially older children, it might be a source of tension or slight difficulty in your relationship, at least in the initial stages as you are getting to know your dating partner and then as you get to know his or her children.

Since your dating partner is either divorced or widowed, his or her kids are in a tense situation as it is.  For example, if the kids are products of divorce, they may have wanted their parents to remain married and are having a hard time dealing with the failed marriage.  They may be feeling as if they are at fault for their parents’ divorce.  If your dating partner’s marriage ended due to the death of his or her mate, there is a different kind of heartache that their children are dealing with.  The kids will be terribly missing their father or mother.  In either case, when your dating partner decided to start dating you, this could be a form of tension among his or her kids.  You can be seen as the enemy and it will be hard for you to get passed their defenses and into their hearts; especially since they don’t want you to take the place of their missing parent.

One major step you need to take is to have understanding.  Don’t get upset when it seems like your dating partner’s kids don’t like you.  It is going to take some time to get to know them and form a relationship.  In the meantime, just take it one day at a time and enjoy the moments you have to get to know your partner.  You also need to take into consideration that your partner will probably not feel too comfortable in the beginning of your relationship, having you involved in the lives of his or her kids.  Your partner needs to see how things go with your own compatibility and how serious your relationship is before involving you in the kids’ lives.  But, when it does happen, remember that understanding is key.

You need to be flexible.  As mature singles, you and your partner both have a good deal of life experience and you have individual lives that you need to mesh together and when there are kids involved, especially older kids, ages pre-teen, teen and older, you need to be more flexible because those are the ages when kids are most affected by a failed marriage and the death of a parent.  Younger children are easily as affected; however, they are less set in their ways and more adaptable to new life situations.

It is very important to be available when the time is right for the budding of a relationship with your partner’s kids.  When the time comes, be ready and willing to pursue a bond with the kids.  You may not have kids of your own so this could be more difficult for you than if you had kids, but if you feel that you and your partner are headed towards a committed relationship, then it is worth every ounce of your effort.

If you are in the dating seeking scene and you have not met a compatible match for yourself, then check out the website, maturesinglesonly.com  This is an online matchmaking company, which, contrary to online dating sites such as match and eharmony, run background checks on their members and you can rest assured that you will have professional service to help you find a very compatible match, in a safe online environment.

Allan Tan is an experienced writer on seeking dating and relationships. He has been writing for many years and has had many articles published. Some of Allan’s most favorite topics to write on include single professionals, mature daters, relationships, and matchmaking. Allan’s articles are well written and memorable. They are especially great for anyone looking to begin dating and still keep up with their daily activities.

Dating Seeking – Mature Dating & Dealing With Your Date’s Older Children

For mature singles involved in dating seeking, when you find someone whoâ??s been married before and has kids, especially older children, it might be a source of tension or slight difficulty in your relationship, at least in the initial stages as you are getting to know your dating partner and then as you get to know his or her children.

Since your dating partner is either divorced or widowed, his or her kids are in a tense situation as it is.  For example, if the kids are products of divorce, they may have wanted their parents to remain married and are having a hard time dealing with the failed marriage.  They may be feeling as if they are at fault for their parentsâ?? divorce.  If your dating partnerâ??s marriage ended due to the death of his or her mate, there is a different kind of heartache that their children are dealing with.  The kids will be terribly missing their father or mother.  In either case, when your dating partner decided to start dating you, this could be a form of tension among his or her kids.  You can be seen as the enemy and it will be hard for you to get passed their defenses and into their hearts; especially since they donâ??t want you to take the place of their missing parent.

One major step you need to take is to have understanding.  Donâ??t get upset when it seems like your dating partnerâ??s kids donâ??t like you.  It is going to take some time to get to know them and form a relationship.  In the meantime, just take it one day at a time and enjoy the moments you have to get to know your partner.  You also need to take into consideration that your partner will probably not feel too comfortable in the beginning of your relationship, having you involved in the lives of his or her kids.  Your partner needs to see how things go with your own compatibility and how serious your relationship is before involving you in the kidsâ?? lives.  But, when it does happen, remember that understanding is key.

You need to be flexible.  As mature singles, you and your partner both have a good deal of life experience and you have individual lives that you need to mesh together and when there are kids involved, especially older kids, ages pre-teen, teen and older, you need to be more flexible because those are the ages when kids are most affected by a failed marriage and the death of a parent.  Younger children are easily as affected; however, they are less set in their ways and more adaptable to new life situations.

It is very important to be available when the time is right for the budding of a relationship with your partnerâ??s kids.  When the time comes, be ready and willing to pursue a bond with the kids.  You may not have kids of your own so this could be more difficult for you than if you had kids, but if you feel that you and your partner are headed towards a committed relationship, then it is worth every ounce of your effort.

If you are in the dating seeking scene and you have not met a compatible match for yourself, then check out the website, maturesinglesonly.com  This is an online matchmaking company, which, contrary to online dating sites such as match and eharmony, run background checks on their members and you can rest assured that you will have professional service to help you find a very compatible match, in a safe online environment.

Allan Tan is an experienced writer on seeking dating and relationships. He has been writing for many years and has had many articles published. Some of Allan’s most favorite topics to write on include single professionals, mature daters, relationships, and matchmaking. Allan’s articles are well written and memorable. They are especially great for anyone looking to begin dating and still keep up with their daily activities.

Dealing With Divorce in a Down Real Estate Market

Finally coming to grips with the decision to divorce can be stressful enough, but when you add the problem of what to do with the marital home when houses arenâ??t selling, it can virtually blow up your stress meter. 

Many divorce situations find one spouse keeping the home and refinancing the mortgage to pay off the other (also a difficult feat in light of the recent mortgage meltdown).  That may or may not be a good option, depending on many factors. 

In situations where the home must be sold, possibly because the mortgage payment is not manageable by one spouse or they are ready to move on and leave the memories behind, trying to sell on the downside may not be easy or desirable.  Selling in a buyers market means that you may take less for your home or risk waiting for a considerable amount time for it to sell at your higher asking price. 

Some other options that are available, but not always understood include the Lease Purchase, Lease Option and Subject To methods of buying and selling real estate.  If you donâ??t need all of the equity in your home at the time of the divorce, these options might be of interest to you. 

Of course, each has its pros and cons and as with any matters such as these, I recommend working with professionals like a real estate attorney and RE broker who are well versed in these options.  These methods can have traps to them so you are highly advised not to go it alone. 

Lease Purchase- This is where buyers â??rent to own.â?Â  Many times buyers in this situation have cash, but credit problems do not allow them to get a mortgage at the present time.  By doing a lease purchase, they usually present a nice chunk of cash for the down payment and are committing to buy your home at a later date, typically one or two years down the road, giving them time to work on repairing their credit issues.  Rental payments may or may not include extra toward the down payment.  There are no hard and fast rules here, everything is pretty much negotiable and allows for creative options on both sides. 

Pros- This is an option that opens your market to more buyers.  Sigurd Hoyer, is a licensed Real Estate broker with Real Estate Central in Kennesaw, Ga. (www.sigsblog.com) and has nearly 20 years experience.  He says, â??This is the best option for the seller as the buyer is technically obligated to purchase.  It puts more control in the sellerâ??s hands.â?Â  He goes on to explain that this is similar to a tenancy and you should follow the same due diligence as you would with a regular rental including checking references, past landlords, employers and their credit report (remembering that there will most likely be credit issues). 

Cons- Remember you still own the property and are still legally obligated to pay the mortgage and any other expenses such as repairs (unless written to the contrary in the contract) on the property.  Make sure that the deal cash flows (covers all costs) or be prepared to pay extra every month out of your own pocket.  In addition, you still have liability on the property so carry adequate insurance.  If the buyer does not purchase, you may have to sue to claim damages. 

Next we have the Lease Option - Almost identical in its features to the lease option, the biggest difference is that the buyer has the â??optionâ? to buy, rather than the â??obligation.â?Â  For those looking to purchase after a divorce this may be a good bet, but if you are on the selling side steer clear as this option puts more control in the buyers hands. 

One other option that you may hear about is â??Subject Toâ? â?? This entails a buyer essentially taking over your payments subject to your current mortgage.  Beware of this set-up.  While investors may love this option and there are situations where this can be acceptable, Sig Hoyer advises, â??Generally this is a move of desperation and not usually the best option for a seller.  Use extreme caution when considering this.â?Â 

Moving out and moving on with your life after divorce, even in a down market, can happen with a little flexibility and creativity.  Still always work with a real estate professional who is familiar with these techniques so you donâ??t get burned when it finally comes time to finalize the sale. 

Lisa C. Decker is an expert in divorce financial matters. As a discreet problem-solver and trusted advisor she utilizes cutting edge tools and industry insight to guide her clients during one of life’s most difficult challenges by helping them to “Divorce Your Spouse, Not Your Assets.” Visit Lisa at www.DivorceFinancialInsight.com for details and get her FREE Audio Series – “5 Things You Must Know BEFORE You Sign on the Dotted Line!”