Home Archives for Dating

Texting; Not Everyone’s Main Squeeze

Posted on May 6, 2012 Written by Leave a Comment

Emotional Connection in Dating

I am not a fan of texting. If I give a man my number, (if he is lucky enough to get it) the very last thing I want for him to do is text me. I am very serious about this to the point of a making it a cause. Here is my reasoning behind this thought process:

Texting, not personal and no real reason
Yesterday someone I didn’t even hardly know texted me and asked me if I wanted to meet. I just kept thinking “why doesn’t he just have the courtesy to phone me and ask?” I feel a phone call or meeting in person is much more personal and is a special brand of caring. In person, you can see someone’s dazzling smile, sparkling eyes, and endless personality features that float over their faces as they are trying to express something. On top of this, instead of him respecting that I did not want to text, he texts back “yes, but it’s a common way of communication.” I really don’t compute or understand this, not by a long shot. Men pay special attention here; if a lady firmly states “I don’t want to text,” she is not kidding, she does want you to stop texting immediately, and it’s not some” sexual innuendo.” Furthermore, it’s not common. I kept thinking common for whom, Asama bin Laden? The man is dead, I rest my case.

Texting while driving, here is your wake-up call
To those who text while driving, I am not a fan. Believe it or not, people have died from doing this very thing. According to the Washington Post “A quarter of U.S. teens ages 16 to 17 who have cell phones say they text while driving, and almost half of Americans ages 12 to 17 say they’ve been in cars with someone who texted while behind the wheel.” Teens state that a lot of their parents also text while driving. Do you really want someone to care deeply and passionately about you to remember you by the last texted words “I love you” yet never be able to see that expression again in person? You couldn’t see the emotions pass on his or her face because now he or she is no longer with us as a living, viable human being. It’s a lonely world when you lose someone close to you. Don’t let the reason be because the text bug came and took the life out of you.

Sexting; not the new text craze
Sexting in this case is where you send asexually explicit picture images to someone’s mobile phone. This might work for married couple, but it surely does not work for single people. Many singles take advantage of this form of communication. Male singles take note; “it’s a huge turn off” to a potential mate. Not only will she view you as a “sex predator” she will not consider you for long term anything. She will immediately remove you from her inner circle at Google Plus or Zoosk, and no longer pay any attention to you. Only the really desperate would apply to your relationship card, and who in their right mind would want a needy person? “Needy people can just pack up their bags and fly home!”

Reasons behind texting, the truth revealed
Reasons why most people want to text are; “I’m bored, I’m lazy, and I can’t communicate well in person.” What is this really saying to a female? I am bored I’m lazy, and I can’t carry on a decent conversation in person. Listen up folks! Bored, lazy, and non communication should not be your idea of a potential mate. If you happen to get lucky, find someone that moves you, let there be a healthy balance. Have the person call you, hear the voice behind the face in a picture, and not a hollow empty text. Meet with the human; decide if he or she is worth your time, and seeing that person again after you have evaluated the person. After all, dating is an evaluation. If you want to meet someone of quality, be quality. If someone doesn’t like texting, understand there may be strong, legitimate reason why that person doesn’t like texting. We were all born beautiful, unique human beings. We don’t all like the same “pizza”, and we are not all cut from the same cloth. I really hope you enjoyed and got some real value out of this article. Feel free to ping, re-post and give your comments below. Enjoy your lives and Namaste!

Filed Under: Advice for Men Tagged: , , , , ,

The Only One Secret to Dating You Will Ever Need.

Posted on September 12, 2009 Written by 3 Comments


Dating Tips

The current day and age, navigating the confusing and often contradictory world of dating rituals can be an intimidating and frustrating experience.

“Never call a man”, “Don’t ask a woman out, get her to ask you”, “Play hard to get”, “Tease her with small insults”, “Cook him a big meal”, “Don’t be too nice to her” and infamous “3 date” or “Two month” or “Six month” rules that schedule events as simple as “when to kiss”, “when to take a vacation together”, “when to propose”, etc. have ruined the spontanaeity and fun of dating. “Do this, don’t do that”. Whatever happened to the REAL purpose of dating: to get to know another individual, to let time take its course and fall in love (for how can someone not fall in love with anyone they enjoy spending time with and learn to appreciate?), and finally enjoying the feeling of being in love and being loved? Unfortunately, American dating rituals and modern customs have made this last, but seminal point of the whole ordeal: to meet and get to know someone you will want to love, almost moot.

Many advice columns and books tell you that if you follow certain rules or tactics, you can make yourself attractive to the opposite sex almost independent of who you are. While I believe it is true that looks is not a very important consideration when you’re looking for the love of your life (he or she may not come in the package you expected), what most advice columns and “dating method” tricks ignore is that you cannot magically make yourself attractive to another and build a healthy relationship with someone if

a) you are an uninteresting person on your own,

b) your life is not together, or

c) the other person’s personality clashes with yours.

In the case where you and your date’s personality clash, well, there’s nothing either one of you can do about it, so it is good to keep in mind when the dating process eventually arrives to its inevitable conclusion. But in this case you’ve both gained something out of the experience: you’ve met and gotten to know someone, and you’ve learned about yourself. If you handle things properly and the personalities are not insidiously incompatible you may have even won a friend. It is just a part of dating.

But in the case of items a) and b), you should ask yourself if this is the REAL reason you are unsuccessful at dating. Perhaps it has nothing to do with whether you called her on a Monday or a Tuesday. Perhaps it is not whether you cooked him fish instead of chicken for dinner on the 3rd date instead of the 5th date. But if you think about it, all your actions–when/if you call, whether you buy her flowers or a card, whether you pick her up or she meets you somewhere, whether you treat her with respect or tease her with insults, whether you kiss him, sleep with him, or just hug him,what you do and where you go during your dates, etc, ALL OF THIS, is a reflection of both of those items.

Is your life not together? Are you unemployed and can’t invite your date out to an activity that you will both enjoy? Do you have other commitments at home that require you to limit the time you have available for dates or cancel them while they are going on? Do you feel unhappy about where your life is going at this point in time? Are you in the process of moving away to some other location? Are you new in town? All of these circumstances and situations will affect how you date, and your personal situation will sooner or later become evident to the person you’re dating. If you’ve been smart enough to choose someone worthwhile to date, who has the same goals in dating as yourself (we’re assuming the only real purpose of dating is what we stated at the beginning: to meet and find someone to love), then when you don’t have your life in order they will immediately realize that investing in a long term relationship with you is probably a risky prospect. Many people might decide not to get further involved with you if this is the case.

Are you an uninteresting person? Are you negative, sarcastic, or a general buzz kill? Do you have angry outbursts? Are you selfish? (selfishness is the biggest turnoff for women, while neediness seems to be the biggest turnoff for men). Or perhaps you don’t have any serious personality flaws but your life revolves around work and TV (or work and videogames, which seems to be the Bay Area equivalent!). Do you have fun hobbies that someone else (i.e. your date) might like to learn about or share? Do you have an exciting social life that your date might want to participate in? Are you happy? It goes without saying that throughout the dating process both sexes evaluate what the other person brings to the relationship. If you are unable to contribute in an amount equal to what your date brings, chances are the relationship won’t go very far.

“Well, alright, these are all good points, but how does that help me when dating?” you might ask. Well, the biggest secret to dating is –that there is just one secret. And this one secret is this: Are you happy? It is this question that encompasses all of those items a, b, and c. above. If you are a genuinely, unhesistatingly, and enthusiastically happy, you’ll be an irresistible date. Everybody likes to be around positive, high-energy people who are confident and content with where their life is at the moment. Rules will suddenly not matter, because if you’re happy you’ll have the confidence to break or follow conventions and rituals according to what feels right for the situation. If you are happy, too, you will know when to let go of dates or situations that are draining, unhealthy, or are not leading you to where you want to go.

O.K., I forgot. There IS another little secret. And it is this: date only happy people. Yes, they are rare (because many people say that they are happy when everything in their life reflects that they aren’t), but when you find one, and you are happy too, I guarantee you that your dating experience will be all that it was always meant to be: wonderful.

by TechieGirl

Filed Under: Advice for Men, Advice for Women, Dating and Divorced, Dealing with Breakups, Online Dating, Playing the Game Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

From Casual Dates To A Real “Connection”

Posted on August 15, 2009 Written by Leave a Comment

Casual DatingCasual DatingDid you know that a man will decide very quickly whether you’re a woman he wants to get to know better and spend his time with – or not?

If you’re frustrated that he stopped calling or emailing after what felt like a great date or dates (lots of laughter, connection, interesting conversation), then you need to read this special web page I put together about creating andbuilding a strong and natural ATTRACTION with a man.

Bottom line – women who naturally know how to create this kind of attraction rarely have to worry about a man getting distant or pulling away.That’s because a man will feel literally COMPELLED to keep seeing you and being around you when you know how to trigger that “special” kind of deep attraction.

I’ve got to be honest with you about something here…

A while back I realized that even though another woman may read my newsletters or eBook, and “get” how men think, how attraction works, or what it takes for great communication to happen…

Still… there are some women who “get” all this but who are single, alone, and struggling just to find a great man to share their life with.

I can understand how the process of “doing the work” and still not being able to find the right man, let alone get things started and working in a relationship, can be incredibly frustrating.

I’ve thought about women in this situation a lot — women who are smart, attractive, great people who just can’t seem to make things work with men and dating.

And after reading literally hundreds of emails from women and taking a few years to observe what’s really going on… I’ve recognized a specific set of “problems” that keep most women from being lucky or successful when it comes to men, dating… and getting a relationship started that will LAST.

Here are just a few of these specific problems:

- Having no idea where to go to meet quality, attractive single men (or it seems like all the good men are already “taken”)

- Going on “dates” (which they dread in the first place) and having them either go NOWHERE… or having things go great on the date, but the guy never calls or asks you out again

- Seeing a man you’re attracted to, and wishing you knew EXACTLY what to do and say to get his attention without sounding dumb, goofy, or desperate

- Not knowing specific things to ASK a man to figure out very early on whether or not he’s honest, mature, and “into” having a real relationship… without sounding pushy, manipulative or scaring him off

- Never knowing the reason WHY a man stops calling or making plans after one or more dates, when there seemed to be so much “chemistry” at first (Just knowing WHY could save you from feeling UNECESSARILY bad because you’re wondering about what you did or said wrong)

Any of these sound familiar?

If so, then your life just got a lot easier… because I’m about to share the answers and insights to these problems that women run into while meeting men, “dating”, and trying to builda great relationship from scratch.

I had a big “Aha!” moment recently, and my realization was this:

Most women would be MUCH more successful with men and dating if they not only had their own “act together” as women… but they knew the specifics of exactly HOW, WHERE, WHY, and WHEN to do things with a man.

Such as… how to get a man’s attention, why he responds the way he does, and when to take things in the direction you want them to go in your relationship.

In other words, sometimes it’s just NOT ENOUGH to be a great person. You need to know how to SHOW him that you are.

Which means… if you don’t know how to say or do the right thing with a man to get him to
recognize what’s really inside of you, and who you are… then it’s all for nothing.

Now, some women have written me over the years and seemed to be looking for a “tool box” or a cheat-sheet that they could refer to for CLEAR answers to questions about real-life dating situations… and how to handle them.

And not having those tools at their fingertips was driving them CRAZY.

They were tired and frustrated with consistently meeting men who accidentally turned
out to have all the WRONG qualities… and they didn’t know how to identify and attract only the right men.

Of course, this isn’t too uncommon.

Have you ever thought you were really clear on what you wanted in a man and a relationship, and you found what you thought was a great guy… only to later discover that the man and the
relationship you had weren’t anything like what you thought they were?

This kind of experience can literally BLOW YOUR MIND and leave you wondering if you’re completely blind. Why is it so hard for YOU… when so many other couples have found each other and found happiness so easily?

Here’s the reality…

What you need isn’t a whole bunch of new life-lessons.

What you need are some real-world tips and TECHNIQUES that are going to help you quickly draw the right man to you, weed out the bad apples early on, and keep things growing so that the right foundation for a great relationship comes together quickly and EASILY.

And guess what?

It’s time you learned how to quickly go from “Hello” to “I love you” with a man, and enjoy
the process and build the foundation for a LASTING RELATIONSHIP at every turn.

And now you learn all this by simply watching the DVDs of this incredible program in the comfort of your living room, or listening to the audio in your car on the way to work. In no time at all you’ll start learning how to OVERCOME the dating frustrations that may be haunting you now.

So don’t keep trying what DOESN’T WORK just because you don’t know any other way.

here’s a way that works. Check it out for yourself right here:

www.albinafabiani.com/love.html

I’ll talk to you again soon,

Filed Under: Advice for Women Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,