Men and women are emotionally wired quite differently
Men and women were created to be wired quite differently. A person’s drive is visually connected to their eyes. The more things you see that excite you, the more aroused you can become. A woman’s sexual nature is directly connected to her heart. She is only truly aroused only after she feels emotional harmony, sharing, safety, and closeness. The word sharing comes from a Latin word that means “Socius.” In a marriage type of relationship, sharing can transcend into vulnerable feelings, self affirmations, and thoughts. Men and women alike need to feel secure in this form of sharing and confidant that his or her spouse will be supportive of that person’s affirmations. Support can be achieved through examples such as empathy, reassurance, or prayer. These factors, in general, must be firmly in place before a woman will share herself physically in the closeness of a sexual relationship.
How men and women view emotional intimacy
How relevant is emotionally wired intimacy in your opinion? When a husband hears the word intimacy, he might think of a passionate, physical moment. When a wife hears the word intimacy, she thinks about communication and an emotional connection which is not the same thing. I have heard some men say, “men refer to intimacy as sex, and women refer to it as talk.” A husband may then start to feel less romantic and masculine if his wife does not accept his sexual advances. His wife, in turn, may feel like a robot, if she doesn’t experience the much needed emotional intimacy before sexual intimacy is introduced into the equation. Jonah, just like other men, compartmentalizes sex from everything else he has come into contact with in his existence. Jonahs wife, Sonya, sees how everything is connected to everything else and how it relates to emotion. If Sonya and Jonah can start to better understand how each other really think, their relationship will grow into a much stronger foundation.
How men and women share emotional connections
The first twelve years of their marriage were the emotional ups and downs of very rocky roads. Neither Jonah nor his wife understood how their other half was wired in his or her own special way. In Sonya’s mind pursuing shared intimacy with Jonah was a rich, exciting moment when they began to open up and share their deeper ideas with one another. Jonah struggled because he was assuming Sonya looked at intimacy in the same wave length in which he visited it. Sonya was thinking the same thing of Jonah. Not until they stepped outside of the box, and examined how talk time could powerfully enrich their lives, could they begin to understand each other’s needs.
How men view their emotional boxes in compartments
Men, by nature, view life in the way we view different compartments. In his view his recreation, hobbies, and family are all put figuratively into separate boxes. As an example, disagreements with your wife are in one box, how you spend your work day is in another box, and eating breakfast is in a third box. Men go through their entire day with each box unconnected, and they stand alone. How Jonah and other men think is very relevant to the presentation of how most men also view intimacy. This, in turn, may help you to better understand your own significant other’s needs.
How women’s emotional boxes open up at one time
Have you noticed how quickly your wife can recall an emotional event that happened ten years ago? This is also the reason she can recall exactly when you last presented her with flowers. A woman’s life events are carefully threaded together through her emotions and how she felt at the time that each event occurred. Her emotionality is her life’s time track and remembers those emotions well. Women are much different in their perspective. They go through the same activities but each box has an emotional, invisible thread connecting all other boxes together. All those compartments are opening at the same time. A woman’s thoughts are connected to “all” her emotions. They are also connected to her mind, body, and heart. When one box has been snapped open, there is a chain reaction that takes place. As a last stop on her emotional track, negativity has settled in and affected her positive affirmations. This, in happenstance, becomes the box of how she relates to the world around her. Once men and women begin to clarify how each other’s emotional boxes are different, they can begin to create a much stronger, more fulfilling bond with one another.