If you’re on the dating scene, you know it’s difficult to find the right man or woman – the ONE – the Ron to your Hermione, the Olive Oyl to your Popeye, the Brad to your Angelina. So maybe you’ve tried online dating. And why not?

Out of 54 million single people in the USA, 40 million of them have at least tried online dating – 15 million of them are on match.com alone! So chances are very good that your Mr. or Miss Right is online, just waiting to meet up with you so you can start the love of your lifetime.

Why not tip the scales in your favor with first rate profile photos? Your photo is the first thing a potential mate will see, so it’s got to be great.

Let’s face it – would you rather date girl A or girl B?

It’s the same person, but I’d sooooooooooo click on Girl B! (OK, they’re both me, so don’t make too much fun of my laundry basket in the comments!)

So are you currently Girl or Guy A? Let’s change that.

The top five things to consider when taking your dating profile photos are as follows:

1) Look Your Best – take the time to create a photo where your hair is styled, you’re appropriately dressed AND you’re smiling. This sounds like a complete “Duh!” of a tip, but if you’ve spent any time on match.com, you’ve seen images of men in rumpled Hawaiian Shirts and women in scraped back ponytails. Make sure your hair and makeup (if you’re so inclined) are well done and you’re wearing a simple top and tasteful accessories. You can always break out the Hawaiian shirts again after date #3.

2) Mind the background of the image – this doesn’t mean you have to have a few Picassos and a Maserati in the back of the photo, but it DOES mean you might not meet Mrs. Right if your profile photo was taken with wet T-shirt night at Sharkey’s in Cabo going on behind you. Find a wall – a simple, graffiti-free brick wall is great! – and stand a few feet in front of it. All we want to focus on is your gorgeous face, so don’t go distracting us, ok?

3) Get comfortable – If you don’t know how to pose while standing, have a seat. Feel awkward about your hands? Put ‘em in your pockets or run them through your hair. Try four or five different poses until you get the one that feels GOOD, if you have to. Don’t stress about it too too much – this isn’t America’s Next Top Model.

4) Drop the props – What kind of message does it send if you’re holding a cocktail in the photo? Maybe you think it says “fun party girl!” but it’s actually coming off more “can you call me a cab? *Hiccup!*” Similarly, a man holding a briefcase can be meant to be “studly provider” but be perceived as “complete workaholic”. Just keep them out of the photo and avoid the issue altogether. (About the only example I can come up with to refute this is a dog. Dogs are pretty much universal date magnets.)

5) Hire a pro – if you absolutely want the best result from your profile photo, go with a professional photographer. They can help you pose in a way that’s both figure flattering and interesting and take a variety of photos that show your serious side, your playful side, your cute side and your sexy side (if you’re into that).

Pssssst – If you’re in Orange County, CA and you want to work with me, give me a call at 714.584.8931.

After collecting your payment, we’ll book two meetings – a phone consultation (in which we discuss your interests, what to wear and why you shouldn’t bring your fishing trophy or your mom to the appointment) and your photo session.

At the 30-60 minute session itself, you can bring as many clothing options as you like and I’ll advise you as to what looks best in photos and how to pose so you don’t have that yuck-awkward-I’m-being-photographed feeling. About a week later, you’ll receive a zipfile of 10 fully retouched but still completely, honestly YOU images that will be ready for uploading on facebook, match, eHarmony, etc. Your new, more date-able photos will garner you all sorts of winks, nudges, emails, and most importantly DATES.

How much for this fantastic little morsel of photographic love? $300. 300 little smackers towards getting you, well, big smackers. (OMG, did I just make that awful pun? I’m very sorry about that. I just get kind of corny when I think about people falling in love.)

Here’s the thing, though – this is an introductory thing – a teaser, if you will – for a big, fat, juicy project I have on the horizon so I’m only offering FIVE of these mini sessions at the current price. That’s right. 5. After the first five, the price will go up to $500. $200 is a pretty good incentive to book fast, right?

So call! 714.584.8931! (or if you’re very anti phone, email me at misha@hellomisha.com) Let’s get you on the way to your Angelina or your Brad ASAP!

So you’ve decided to do online dating, but you’ve gotten to the part where you have to write about yourself. You find yourself staring at your screen like a deer in the headlights.  O.M.G. How is this part so hard? Who knows me better than I know me? Uhhh, hmmm, well….Aggghh!

Trust me, everyone feels this way. I help people do online dating for a living. I’ve personally written countless profiles and boy, I tell you what, I’d be lying if I said I never comatosed at my computer screen with the same befuddled stare. But I know how to get through it and here I can help you too. Whew!

If form follows function, then it’s at this point that I have to rejig your notion of your dating profile’s function. Your written dating profile function is not: your autobiography. Nope. Forget the idea that you are just going to sit down and write about yourself.

At this point you’re like, ‘wha, what is this girl talking about?” Successful online daters know that talking about yourself isn’t what gets you dates. Making people interested in you does.

Here are the tips that showcase your more interesting personality:

•  Do think about your audience: What do they want to see? Don’t talk about what you want to talk about, talk about what someone wants to read about.
• Don’t ho-hum about how you never thought you’d do online dating: This says nothing about you to a reader. You’re wasting your limited opportunity to make your first impression
• Don’t list adjectives:  Being kind, funny and intelligent are better expressed by stories of how you rescued your cat from a dumpster behind a circle K. And your favorite thing to do is karaoke to Britney Spears. And that you have researched the fool proof method to parallel parking with stick shift on a steep hill.
• Do dare to be different: Answer a question differently than the one posed to you. Anytime you deviate from the norm, people take notice.
• Don’t talk about the obvious: Everyone wants someone that is their bestfriend that cares for them and enjoy each others company. Saying this is a waste of effort.
• Do focus on your primary picture: If you’re not attractive compared to the rest, no one will click on you to find out more.
• Don’t give your autobiography: Everyone has history. Most of them are boring. They don’t tell anything to your readers if you’ll get along in the future as a dater.
• Do be funny: In the absence of a sarcasm font, you have to be careful of how you do funny. Telling a funny story works best as well as clever picture captions.
• Do give interesting tidbits: If you’ve done interesting things that other people haven’t done, tell about them in your profile.
• Do be controversial in a fun way: Most people enjoy the playful banter of the early parts of a relationship. Don’t be afraid to start playful debates with your profile. Think Hunger Games vs. Twilight Trilogy, The cast of Mad Men vs. Breaking Bad. Make them relatable; it’s a great conversation starter.

For more online dating tips purchase my ebook from Amazon
Expert Online Dating: Advice for Men from a Hot Chick

Bob Dylan was right. The times are a’changin. Our culture is changing. Our social norms are changing. Our technology and methods we use to connect with each other is changing, and as a result, we are changing with it.

The Internet has had an interesting impact on how we socialize. In some ways, the instant connectivity to a global audience can expand our personal and professional networks. We can chat with activists in Egypt and broaden our cultural horizons. We can put our cats on Youtube and attract a global audience. We can Skype with old friends who live halfway around the world. And we can also use online dating services to find a hot date in a matter of minutes.

One of the most visible shifts taking place in American culture as a direct result of the Internet, is how we find and subsequently court romantic partners. What was once considered a private matter, where discretion and subtly were rigidly observed, is now a sometimes shamelessly public display of vulgarity, accompanied by desperately transparent intentions.

In other words, digitization has forever altered the way we view traditional dating. According to NY Daily News, 30% of all Americans who use the Internet, participate in online dating. This number indicates a big change in the way we traditionally think about dating.

Current online polls indicate that the number of Americans who will turn to the Internet to find love (among other things) will only continue to rise. For now at least, it sure doesn’t look like our daily lives will get any less digital unless you want to pack it up and go off the grid. Chances are pretty good that whoever is reading this, participates in online dating (and if you don’t already, you probably will in the near future).

So, here are 5 things to look out for when you venture out into the dangerous world of online dating.  

1. Over The Top Ego

After all, vanity is one of the seven deadly sins, people. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental condition where the person has an inflated sense of their own importance. These individuals care only about themselves and think the world revolves around them. This mental disorder can be difficult to identify because behind the super-confident mask is usually a person with a fragile sense of self-worth, and this person will be extremely sensitive to criticism. If you spot these symptoms, in a person, quarantine yourself immediately!

1. Lacking In Specificity

If someone checks off the “I’ll tell you later” box or has conspicuously few comments, that person may have something to hide, or a lifestyle which requires a lot of explaining. Either way, this individual is avoiding disclosure for a reason, so move on to someone who is in a position to be open and honest.

1. Whatever They Can Get

Someone who repeatedly indicates “no preference” in too many categories of what they are looking for in a mate, should probably be avoided. It’s legit if a person says it doesn’t matter what religion you are, or if you’re blond or brunette, but a someone who is open to anyone (and anything) is probably just fishing in a huge sea hoping that they get a quick bite without putting in too much effort. Eww. If someone doesn’t care whether or not you have children, children, or has no physical or lifestyle requirements whatsoever, that person isn’t laidback. They are desperate.

1. Overly Interested in Your Income

Believe it or not, people, there are websites dedicated to uniting “sugar daddies” with their “sugar baby” counterparts. But people looking for these kinds of “arrangements” also spill over into the more traditional online dating scene.
Someone overly hung up on salary or financial status is sending a message that he or she is unwilling to pull their own weight. They could even be a gigolo or a male gold digger! And yes, they exist.

1. Questionable Interests

This one really doesn’t need a lot of explanation. If someone likes to do weird things in their spare time, they are probably weird themselves. Strange people do strange things. The end.
Now, having said that, you may be wondering how to proceed forward with your online love life. Several independent experts have recommended that the best way to protect yourself when online dating, is to perform a background check on the person before you meet up with them and possibly put yourself at risk.

Anybody who uses an online dating service, or lays themselves out before the strange and freaky cross sections of humanity represented on the world wide web, should proceed with caution and sign up for a subscription with an online background checking service. Third party background check providers such as Instant Checkmate, are a great way to get more information about people you interact with on the Internet. Having unlimited access to a person’s public information, including potential criminal history, is a great way to keep yourself safe, and still have a good time.

Jessica Ruane is a blogger for Instant Checkmate, a company originally conceived to help screen dating prospects.  For more of her work, please follow Jessica on Twitter.

We have done some testing of dating profiles to identify changes that can be made for increased response rates. We managed to get an improvement of 35% with these changes so it shows it pays to spend a little extra time on your dating profile. The profile had no photo, just the text so this was a pretty impressive response rate. You want to get the best return on your dating site membership so it is well worth spending the time, crafting a perfect profile that attracts attention.

Your tag line:

This is key as it is the first thing that the searcher see’s. It is also normally what is used in the summary of the search results page so this really is a very short space to make your impact and draw attention. Imaging this like using Google when you see the results and you have to decide which result is what you want based on a line or two of the sites summary.
Using the 3rd party:

The 3rd Person:

It is also a good idea to talk about yourself in the 3rd person rather than say ‘I’. This not only helps you to stand out a little bit more by not sounding like you are making yourself sound great. So rather than say ‘I have a great sense of humour’ try saying ‘you will love my great sense of humour’ – see, you have already nearly convinced them!
Keep it to the point:

Length:

We all know that people browse dating sites and by that I mean they skim across the pages, most people do not read everything in detail initially so it pays to keep your profile to the point. If you start writing a full essay, you are going to put people off and could think you are too full on. About 300 words is normally about right. Make it snappy and be sure to cover all your key points you think sell you. You have plenty of time to offer more information later when you start sending messages.
Consider how you come across:

Perception:

Make sure you try to think how you come across when listing your interests. Let’s say you put down you are keen on boxing and are a member of a local club. For some girls, they may like the idea that the man is tough and can look after himself. For others, they could be put off that you enjoy a sport that could be seen as violent. There is no right or wrong answer here, it depends on the type of person you want to attract but a quite shy person could be put off by this, a strong, outgoing and independent person could find that a bonus.
Remember the context:

Context:

Another point to consider is the context in which you explain your interests or job. For example, virtually everyone uses computers and the internet (well you would be if you were internet dating!). Saying that you enjoy spending time on the internet, making websites and using computers can make you sound very geeky and dull. Saying you’re a web developer and love developing cool and trendy websites makes you sound not only cool but confirms you have a good job and probably a good income.

With thousands of competing profiles, it is important to add some humour to grab attention and stand out. This helps to show you don’t take the online dating process too seriously and also helps as a great way of breaking the ice.

The author has many years’ experience in the online dating field and runs a popular site that reviews online dating sites as well as providing lots of great information and help around online dating.

Some user friendly websites that I have found for internet dating are as follows: POF.com, Singlesnet.com, and OK Cupid.

POF facts you may want to know more about

POF.com (Plenty of fish) offers a lot of free features that one you may find very enjoyable are the chemistry match questions, search, online chat, the meet me section where you can click on photos of available singles, and trying out the ultra match section for free.  I especially liked the chat section because you can go in ask members who have been there awhile what they think of the site and how they are approaching their online dating.  They were all really very honest about how they were addressing online dating and gave me some good tips on how to approach the site even though a lot of profiles held inactive members. Some of the features you can enjoy if you upgrade are extra mail storage, access to ultra match, quality photo upgrades, see if your emails are read, and experience the site ad free. Some slight disadvantages to the site are a lot of people you may write to are no longer single or available, and simply forgot to delete their profiles, and there are only 7 pictures you can post to the site as a non paying member. A great amount of time is spent getting to know who is and who is not really there, and some humans just don’t respond at all. This doesn’t it any easier in finding live bodies to correspond with.  It is still a wonderful, delightful site for what it is, with a lot going for it.

Singlesnet.com features you may want to dive into further

Singlesnet.com (not to be confused with singles.net) is a really great site. For the plus side on the features, you can chat with someone live, email the gold members (paying members) for free, set up your email, view member’s profiles, and do a proprietary match. Other cool features are the sending a free flirt, save a contact, and instant message chat request. You would not have to make a chat request if you decided to become a paying member. One very whimsical element to this site is that the site will tell you if this person is more of your match a friend, or an enemy depending on how they answered their profile questions. It’s so clear as to who you would want to avoid by just seeing this percentage, as well. Someone with a high level of enemy rating would most definitely not be a good love match for you.  Some benefits to becoming a paying member, automatic chats, not requests, your profile becomes a gold member profile and it stands out more to other members, and you can send an email to both gold and non-gold members. A not so easy to use feature is the log in feature. Whereas most sites have their log in feature to the far upper left or right side of the screen, this site chose to put their log in information far down below all other material, center, in very tiny letters. It is extremely hard to see the letters, too. It does finally take you onto another page with the bigger log on information, but that step just makes it more time consuming.

OK Cupid; little things you might want to check out more

The site OK Cupid really cracks me up, first the name, then this wonderful lady named Cupidista (Meghan) comes and welcomes you to the site in an email. She even gives you extra photo slots just for being an active member in good standing. Others things I like about the site are that you have up to about ten photo slots and you can select people to view by your preference list, and email people without paying a single dime out of your pocket.  There seems to be enough singles on the site to write to, and you can even upgrade and know who has put you on their A list, or get more saved messages (over 300).  A special section called “you might like” is embedded underneath your main profile picture, and is super simple to use. One drawback to the site is that sometimes you can’t find out where to delete an older photo.  I had to write to support about that one. I am still waiting on a reply back, but other than that, it is an enjoyable and user friendly site.