Dear …….

Thankyou for your very kind email…and planing.
Most of all I appreciate  the time you have spent  , the ideas you have shared , your willingness to spend  time with me this weekend and take me in  to your home. Time is our most valuable commodity.
Although arguably not a poor man  money is  a limited resource so without being cheap I always conserve with the expectation that by doing such  one will always be functionally wealthy. With that said I look forward  to seeing you on friday  and if for any reason  either of us feels more comfortable…. any second thoughts no matter how trivial  a hotel will be within the 2009 budget. In terms of jeoporady I feel that we have established a connection which is  the root of a long term special friendship. . I do not  know what this friendship will entail, or the time course it will evolve.  We may be  destined to  be casual sculpture discussing acquaintances  or perhaps in spite of geographic challenges we will want it all ….  This  we won’t jeopardize.  Sorry to be reporting to Ca slightly out of commission…I prize vitality …
Looking forward to friday. hope to speak with you later  today .
My Best,
……….

BTW; Please no special shoping in advance. I will look forward to seeing the stores with  and ? the harbor?

OK.  Hi There.  Rough email.  The last thing I have wanted to do is hurt your soul.  This is best.  You are an amazing, amazing, sexy, smart, funny, beautiful, intoxicating woman.  I am in awe of you.  I am not worthy of your attention as a guy who needs to figure out his own issues.

I am not trying to be trite.  I am trying to be your friend.  I don’t want to be your asshole friend from a distance.  I have had no choice from my own emotions but to think about this for the last several weeks and see if there’s some way to be your platonic friend for now.  I still don’t know if there is.  I think about you all the time.  I lie awake at night thinking about you.  I am a strong-willed man and I know that the sight of you, the smell of you, the sound of your voice is enough to prompt me to actions with you that start things that I can’t finish.

I am sorry that it’s the holidays and I’m not being a good visible friend.

Please don’t be sad.  Be pissed if you want to.  I’d rather you weren’t.

I hope you’re having a decent christmas.  Too much family intrusion for me. I’ll tell you about it one of these days.  I know that I am indebted to you for quality time, passion, and explanation.  I will find a way to make it up to you one day soon, ok.  Take care.

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
• Romance 9.5 and
• Personal Attention 6.5,
and then installed undesirable programs such as

• NBA 5.0,
• NFL 3.0 and
• Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

• Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.
 

DEAR DESPERATE

First, keep in mind,
• Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
• Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
• If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2..5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
• Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
• Cooking 3.0 and
• Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Tech Support

The current day and age, navigating the confusing and often contradictory world of dating rituals can be an intimidating and frustrating experience.

“Never call a man”, “Don’t ask a woman out, get her to ask you”, “Play hard to get”, “Tease her with small insults”, “Cook him a big meal”, “Don’t be too nice to her” and infamous “3 date” or “Two month” or “Six month” rules that schedule events as simple as “when to kiss”, “when to take a vacation together”, “when to propose”, etc. have ruined the spontanaeity and fun of dating. “Do this, don’t do that”. Whatever happened to the REAL purpose of dating: to get to know another individual, to let time take its course and fall in love (for how can someone not fall in love with anyone they enjoy spending time with and learn to appreciate?), and finally enjoying the feeling of being in love and being loved? Unfortunately, American dating rituals and modern customs have made this last, but seminal point of the whole ordeal: to meet and get to know someone you will want to love, almost moot.

Many advice columns and books tell you that if you follow certain rules or tactics, you can make yourself attractive to the opposite sex almost independent of who you are. While I believe it is true that looks is not a very important consideration when you’re looking for the love of your life (he or she may not come in the package you expected), what most advice columns and “dating method” tricks ignore is that you cannot magically make yourself attractive to another and build a healthy relationship with someone if

a) you are an uninteresting person on your own,

b) your life is not together, or

c) the other person’s personality clashes with yours.

In the case where you and your date’s personality clash, well, there’s nothing either one of you can do about it, so it is good to keep in mind when the dating process eventually arrives to its inevitable conclusion. But in this case you’ve both gained something out of the experience: you’ve met and gotten to know someone, and you’ve learned about yourself. If you handle things properly and the personalities are not insidiously incompatible you may have even won a friend. It is just a part of dating.

But in the case of items a) and b), you should ask yourself if this is the REAL reason you are unsuccessful at dating. Perhaps it has nothing to do with whether you called her on a Monday or a Tuesday. Perhaps it is not whether you cooked him fish instead of chicken for dinner on the 3rd date instead of the 5th date. But if you think about it, all your actions–when/if you call, whether you buy her flowers or a card, whether you pick her up or she meets you somewhere, whether you treat her with respect or tease her with insults, whether you kiss him, sleep with him, or just hug him,what you do and where you go during your dates, etc, ALL OF THIS, is a reflection of both of those items.

Is your life not together? Are you unemployed and can’t invite your date out to an activity that you will both enjoy? Do you have other commitments at home that require you to limit the time you have available for dates or cancel them while they are going on? Do you feel unhappy about where your life is going at this point in time? Are you in the process of moving away to some other location? Are you new in town? All of these circumstances and situations will affect how you date, and your personal situation will sooner or later become evident to the person you’re dating. If you’ve been smart enough to choose someone worthwhile to date, who has the same goals in dating as yourself (we’re assuming the only real purpose of dating is what we stated at the beginning: to meet and find someone to love), then when you don’t have your life in order they will immediately realize that investing in a long term relationship with you is probably a risky prospect. Many people might decide not to get further involved with you if this is the case.

Are you an uninteresting person? Are you negative, sarcastic, or a general buzz kill? Do you have angry outbursts? Are you selfish? (selfishness is the biggest turnoff for women, while neediness seems to be the biggest turnoff for men). Or perhaps you don’t have any serious personality flaws but your life revolves around work and TV (or work and videogames, which seems to be the Bay Area equivalent!). Do you have fun hobbies that someone else (i.e. your date) might like to learn about or share? Do you have an exciting social life that your date might want to participate in? Are you happy? It goes without saying that throughout the dating process both sexes evaluate what the other person brings to the relationship. If you are unable to contribute in an amount equal to what your date brings, chances are the relationship won’t go very far.

“Well, alright, these are all good points, but how does that help me when dating?” you might ask. Well, the biggest secret to dating is –that there is just one secret. And this one secret is this: Are you happy? It is this question that encompasses all of those items a, b, and c. above. If you are a genuinely, unhesistatingly, and enthusiastically happy, you’ll be an irresistible date. Everybody likes to be around positive, high-energy people who are confident and content with where their life is at the moment. Rules will suddenly not matter, because if you’re happy you’ll have the confidence to break or follow conventions and rituals according to what feels right for the situation. If you are happy, too, you will know when to let go of dates or situations that are draining, unhealthy, or are not leading you to where you want to go.

O.K., I forgot. There IS another little secret. And it is this: date only happy people. Yes, they are rare (because many people say that they are happy when everything in their life reflects that they aren’t), but when you find one, and you are happy too, I guarantee you that your dating experience will be all that it was always meant to be: wonderful.

by TechieGirl

In my work, I often perceive in my clients a sensitivity that seems to come naturally to those involved in the more spiritual way of living. Most of the people I serve, even if they are unaware of it, have some level of empathic, intuitive or channeling abilities that work in their lives. I find that those who seek spiritual/psychic guidance tend to have a latent spiritual/psychic side to themselves that is craving to come out… like attracts like!

In serving these sensitive, spiritually evolving people, I come across one very common negative trait that I’d like to discuss today. Mis-identification of issues. I know that sounds nearly like medical terminology- but don’t worry- it’s not that bad!

Mis-identification of issues is the process of taking ownership of issues, addictions, behaviors, etc. that are NOT yours. The most common example of this happens in romantic relationships.

Let’s create an example (completely made-up, any similarity to actual events is a ‘coincidence’) to use throughout this article to help make it more clear…

Jane has been dating Joe for a few months now. Joe tends to take ten steps forward in the relationship- then either completely clam up for a while or take 15 steps back. Now, Jane is starting to feel like she’s doing something terribly wrong. She has a hard time injecting positive energy into the relationship because she never quite knows whether Joe is coming or going and what she might be doing to make him run. This is a classic example of ‘Not Yours’ in action! In the beginning, Jane was completely present with the relationship. The behavior Joe expresses sort of came out of nowhere- and has now turned into a cyclical, nearly addictive pattern.

Joe obviously has some deep-seated issue here with commitment and self-worth, but it’s Jane I am worried about. She is taking responsibility for actions, behaviors, beliefs and attitudes which do not belong to her. She basically just took a few pounds off Joe and stuffed them in her backpack.

As humans, we want to care for others and lessen their burden. Empathic folks have this really hard until they learn how to shield and identify properly. We have also been trained in many regards that if something in our life goes wrong- it’s time for the blame game. Neither of these beliefs is good or progressive on our spiritual journey. It’s important for us to be able to identify- anytime a negative emotion comes up- where it comes from. Is this our internal feeling of guilt, lack, etc.- or are we simply kicking ourselves in the butt over something we have no ownership of? Jane is suffering, piling on the guilt and really starting to destroy her self-value because she thinks Joe’s behavior is her problem. The truth is- her breaking-down process due to this toxic energy is probably making things worse. If we could just clean her emotions up, get her clear and focus on the positive, she would 99% likely see Joe change his ways. See how one person doing some deep healing will effect those they are close to an illicit their healing as well… big secret revealed!

Taking accountability for what IS ours and what is NOT ours not only helps clear the energy flow between people- it also helps us get closer to what’s going on in our heart and what we have to work with. True compassion does not come from taking on others issues- that’s called robbery. Compassion comes forth when we walk alongside those in need- giving them love, energy, support and guidance. If we walk the path for them, they might as well not be living at all. Most of us can agree that some of our biggest hurts and losses led to our biggest personal growth- do you really want to take that away from someone? These are lessons we cannot learn from books- we have to experience the reality of them, hopefully while being surrounded with love and guidance from others, in order to really ‘get it’.

Taking the initiative to explore emotions, define what’s yours, take accountability for it and work through it is a medicine unparalleled in this world. It allows us to stop blaming others for our issues, to stop taking on other peoples life journey, and to live clear and open to the next step. Here’s a break-down of exploring, identifying and letting go…

•Negative emotion arises (fear, guilt, decline in self-value, anger, etc.) that involves another person
•Stop. Breathe. Feel the entirely of the emotion for a few moments
•Talk to the emotion, dialogue with it from inside. See where it comes from, what triggered it, when it came up, etc. Be an emotion detective and try to resolve the root of the toxicity
•Identify with COMPLETE HONESTY to yourself whether this is or is not your issue
•If is IS your issue- now you know, and knowing is half the battle. Begin working on it through honest internal dialogue, meditation, prayer, energy work, self-help books, counseling, etc. Do what you need to do to work through it and overcome while still embracing the lessons it has to offer you
•If it is NOT you emotion- replace it with love for the person who owns it, this changes the vibration immediately. Communicate with the person that you are feeling ____ and would like to be with them in any way you can to help them clear it up. You have to release consciously WITH LOVE, or the cords that attach you to that weight just stick around
•Continue to have open, honest and compassionate dialogue with yourself (first and foremost) and with any others involved. Remember- as they heal, you heal. As yo heal, they heal. Invest as much energy as needed into the situation because in the end it is your medicine.
We are all connected, and ideally want for others what we want for ourselves. Tapping into the flow of unconditional love and true compassion allows us to help others for real, instead of just taking their burdens for a while and not helping either of us get bigger. The healing journey is about loving kindness, compassion and manifesting perfection- with the right paradigm we can all tap that, together, one relationship at a time!

If you have any questions about toady’s article- please feel free to contact me via email. I look forward to serving you and your unique life journey through the spiritual arts and unconditional Divine love! Peace & Blessings,

Josh Williams is a professional Psychic Adviser, Life Coach, Spiritual Teacher and Energy Healing Channel. For over 10 years he has been serving clients from all across the globe, acting as psychic client advocate, teaching meditation, ritual, manifesting and spirituality techniques and just loving life! Josh has recently started offering a wisdom blog which is updated 5 times a week presenting practical but powerful spiritual wisdom for the modern day. You can view Josh’s blog by clicking HERE

Jealousy

Jealousy can last much longer than a basic emotion like anger, without losing its original intensity, and it may even outlast the attachment which it fears losing: “jealousy is always born with love; it does not always die with it”.

Jealousy is about fear–fear of the unknown and of change, fear of losing power or control in a relationship, fear of loss, and fear of abandonment. While is it normal to feel mildly jealous on occasion, if jealousy is a frequent emotion or something which is irrational, this may reflect the carryover of past real or imagined traumas and betrayals. In my own case, when I experience jealous emotions it is indeed a carryover. I recognize it within myself and I try as best I can to fight it. I keep telling myself, it is not going to keep me from getting hurt.

But why do we get jealous?

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. That’s what you feel when you get jealous of others, of your partner talking to or dancing with another person : I do not have as much value as the other person aka he/she will leave me. The purpose of jealousy is to avoid being hurt or to lessen hurt that has already happened but sometimes jealousy makes people do crazy things – like VERY crazy things. Their jealousness most often leads to the very thing they fear. Being left and feeling they have no value. They are thus confirmed in their fears.

Coping.

One great way to learn how to deal with jealousy is for people to recognize when they are jumping to conclusions or making assumptions that they are not sure of. One of the most important techniques for coping with jealousy is acceptance. By accepting that jealousy is not going to save you from being hurt, you can often learn to build trust and keep the lines of communication open.

Result of jealous behavior.

Jealousy is the surest way to drive away the very person we may fear losing. It’s a poor medium to secure love, but it is a secure medium to destroy one’s self-respect.

“Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.”

Gitte Gorzelak is a true crime nerd and fanatic blogger. She lives in West Jutland, Denmark and is the mother of a son.

How do I deal with demanding people or cope with their controlling habits?

First, Stop Labelling Them!

When you focus on what people “are” (demanding, controlling, manipulative) rather than what’s missing for you in your interactions with them you are giving away all your power.

By libelling your loved ones in any way, you place the full responsibility for improving matters upon them. If you believe that you are unhappy because they “are” selfish or unreasonable, you also believe that your problems cannot be resolved until they change their ways. This blame game prevents you from overcoming your hurt feelings and can lead to serious relationship disturbances.

Second, Take Back Responsibility For Your Own Happiness!

The first step to reclaiming control of your own happiness is to disconnect from the idea that other people are causing your emotional pain. Accepting the fact that it’s your own thought processes which are causing you to feel bad is the only way to move forward.

Once you do, you can then start to focus on what you “do want” in each situation. Ask yourself what is needed to create an outcome which is satisfying to everyone involved. When you know what you want you can begin looking at these situations as an opportunity to explore ways of meeting everyone’s needs and re-establishing or creating a healthy relationship.

Finally, Focus Your Attention on What You Want to Grow!

The first place to start in any challenging situation or when dealing with a relationship problem is by looking inside and acknowledging what part you are playing. Focusing on the actions of others prevents you from being able to notice productive solutions for your problems.

Here are a couple of re-focusing intervention techniques which can help you to stop labelling and establish what you “do want” in these situations:

Listen for times when you hear yourself saying things such as “I don’t want”, “I don’t like”, “I wish you wouldn’t” and “Would you stop”. As soon as possible, stop and write down what you “do want” or “would like” at these times.

Each time you notice yourself labelling another person, stop as soon as you can and ask yourself, “Do I want my label of them to guide my actions or do I want to create an outcome which is satisfying to everyone involved?” Notice if you feel any shift in what you want to do next.

By learning to create this quality of focus attention you’ll become more able to accept others as they are. When you accept your friends and family with all their strengths and weaknesses, you will all be more open to creating outcomes that everyone will enjoy.

Once you have this focused attention you can start practicing the following three step processing approach which will not only improve your own happiness but help to create truly magical relationships.

Three Steps For Creating Magical Relationships:

Step 1: Stop Playing the Blame Game!

Set aside any blame, judgment or anger that you feel towards your loved ones for the ways they have behaved in the past. Since you can’t STOP doing anything–you can only START doing something else–the easiest way to stop playing the blame game is by following the next steps number two and three.

Step 2: What Do You Value?

Discover what you value most deeply when interacting with other people. On our website we offer a free values exercise. We encourage you to download this exercise and use it to identify qualities that would bring you more joy into each of your less than satisfying relationships.

As an example, let’s say you notice you’re labelling your partner as “demanding” or your friend as “manipulative.” While doing the values exercise you may find that what you strongly value is cooperation.

If you experienced more cooperation in your relationship it would certainly bring more joy. Take responsibility for having more cooperation in your life by figuring out a specific way in which your loved one could have got what they wanted, while at the same time satisfying your own desire for cooperation.

Step 3: What do They Want?

Ask them for what you want. Ask if, in the future, they would be willing to try using the specific ideas you came up with which supported your need for cooperation.

By shifting your focus from what other people “are” to “what you want” in the situation, you can start the process of regaining the power to control your own happiness.

When you truly learn that your happiness does not depend on others, you free yourself from the resentment you feel towards others. Only then can you start finding ways to experience what you value, to discover what brings you more joy and, ultimately, to save your relationship.

Each of these three steps is designed to help you rid yourself of resentment so you can find happiness in your relationships again.

Please relax about this practice. Remember that we’ve all learned how to play the blame game early in our life, and it won’t disappear in a day.

But if you commit to this practice, we guarantee you’ll be much more likely to feel better, have more fun, and create the kind of success in your relationships that you truly want.

Are you ready to change your focus and play a new game? Sign up for our thought-provoking and motivational Weekly Action Tips eMail series at: . Each tip offers unique self-help skills and personal growth techniques to help you in focusing on the things that are most important to you. Or visit us at: http://www.NewAgeSelfHelp.com

href=”http://www.loveengineer.com”>

This article is written for anyone suffering from the agony of unrequited love, or one-way love, where you are fixated on a person (the target) whom you may have thought was interested in a relationship, but you have somehow discovered that they are not.

Pain results from having built up a picture in your mind of what life would have been like had you succeeded in getting into a relationship with the target, and recognizing that this is not really going to happen. The greater the gap between reality and the expectation, the greater the pain. You may have false memories of things that never happened, since your mind spent so much time concocting these scenarios that it cannot tell the difference between them and real memories.

This leads to a similar pain to that which is experienced after having been dumped by someone with whom you were in a loving relationship. This is an evolutionary mechanism that incentivizes people to stay as part of a bonded pair for the purpose of raising children. The instinct is to remain as a stable couple for the benefit of the children. If you feel that this pair bond has been unduly broken, your evolutionary instinct is to try to repair it, and failing to do so is punished by emotional pain. You have these instincts because you are the descendants of people who also had it. People who didn’t have it? Well, they have no descendants.

Emotional pain is not your fault. It is a side-effect of the forces of nature that reward any traits that improve reproductive fitness by keeping them in the gene pool.

In the case of unrequited love, the emotional pain is the result of a pair bond that has been broken in your mind, but never existed in reality.

Dealing with this phenomenon can be broken down into a few phases.

1 – Accept the reality

Reality is painful to deal with, as is evidenced by the way you feel when you wake in the morning. While you are still groggy, you have a few seconds of peace until you remember the reality of your situation and the pain resumes.

It can be tempting to periodically ‘switch off’ your belief in the dark reality of your situation and refuse to accept it. This is because you are still in the love zone, where thinking about the target and the great future you thought you had together still gives you the warm and fuzzy feeling. If you use this as a means of lessening the pain, then you are going down a dangerous path.

Reality will come to the surface in the end whether you like it or not. If you fantasize about succeeding with the target, then you are wasting precious time in a fantasy world. The more time you spend there, the more painful it will be each time you come out of it and reality reasserts itself. It is therefore easier in the long run to spend as little time as possible in the fantasy belief, and spend more time accepting the reality that the target is not interested.

2 – Remove yourself from the situation

Being in the presence of the target, or even looking at pictures or representations of the target, can be painful. Avoiding the target in every way possible will help to lessen your attachment to them. If it is someone that you haven’t known for very long, it is surprising how quickly you can actually forget about details of the person’s appearance just by avoiding looking at them for as little as a few days.

If it is a person who lives in your home, avoid the home for a few days. Sleep on your friends’ couches or get a motel room if you have to. If you are friends with them on a social networking website that you frequent, remove them from your friends so that you don’t have to look at them or see what they are doing.

3 – Don’t fear future pain that may not be real

One of the forces that keeps a pair bond in place is fear of what would happen were it broken. Much of the pain of unrequited love is based on a realization that you are now in a situation that you were afraid of previously. You were thinking that you would be in bad shape if the relationship didn’t materialize, then when it didn’t materialize you felt obliged to be in pain so as to fulfill the prophesy you had concocted. But when you actually examine the amount of pain you are in, you might find that it is much less than you were expecting.

This is similar to how people approach unfamiliar tasks, such as driving on a different side of the road in a foreign country. People who approach it with a mindset that expects it to be difficult will probably find it difficult through the power of their own suggestion. People who approach it thinking that it will be easy invariably find it easy.

4 – Stay active socially

Human contact is essential in dealing with any crisis. In this crisis, it is doubly important that you have the support of family or friends. A sure way to increase pain is to sit around doing nothing but think about how bad your situation is. When in company, people will be having conversations about other things, and through social etiquette you will be compelled to participate. This will engage your mind in subjects other than your situation, and this reduces the pain by taking your mind off it.

Further, maintaining contact with your social networks that are not connected to the target will help to reinforce any sensation of not depending on the target for all of your social needs. If you believe that the target was your only friend in the world and you needed them, you are in trouble. If you don’t have any friends other than the target, then you have to get some by means such as joining a club, taking up a new sport, or any means that will enlarge and diversify your portfolio of friends.

Staying sociable will also help you to move in circles where you will be able to meet potential future romantic interests. Even if you are not interested in them now, it will be comforting to know that they exist and that the target is not the only potential mate in the world. This information may sink in at a conscious or subconscious level.

5 – Stay active physically

A healthy body and a healthy mind go hand in hand. Exercise has many positive effects that go beyond physiological benefits. If you are embarking on a new exercise regimen, the first few sessions may be uncomfortable, but the benefits can become apparent as your muscles ease into it. A feeling of well being, known as ‘jogger’s high,’ can last for as long as several days depending on the intensity and duration of a workout. This is caused by the release of substances called endorphins in your brain, the same that are released in a short but intense burst during orgasm. Exercise causes them to be released more slowly over a longer period. Cardiovascular exercise in particular can produce significant releases of endorphins.

If you are significantly out of shape, consult a physician before starting an exercise program.

6 – Think of the target’s negative qualities

Nobody in this world is perfect, the target included. Think of their negative qualities and remind yourself about them. Write them down if it helps, but be careful about placing them in a prominent place. That might remind you of the target at times when you would otherwise would not be thinking about them.

7 – Keep your life on track

Watch your finances as usual, continue to pay your bills on time, and stay productive at work. Do not allow a short term emotional crisis to produce long term negative consequences.

None of these measures on their own will completely and instantly eclipse the pain of unrequited love, but in combination they can be very effective in significantly reducing it to manageable levels.

As time wears on, the pain will be reduced until eventually it all but disappears. If followed correctly, the process can take as little as a few days. As with physical injuries that take time to heal, there will always be a little scar where the injury was. This acts both as a visible reminder to avoid a similar accident, and as a reinforcement of previously vulnerable tissue.