5 Foolproof Tips to DateWorthy Profile Photos

If you’re on the dating scene, you know it’s difficult to find the right man or woman – the ONE – the Ron to your Hermione, the Olive Oyl to your Popeye, the Brad to your Angelina. So maybe you’ve tried online dating. And why not?

Out of 54 million single people in the USA, 40 million of them have at least tried online dating – 15 million of them are on match.com alone! So chances are very good that your Mr. or Miss Right is online, just waiting to meet up with you so you can start the love of your lifetime.

Why not tip the scales in your favor with first rate profile photos? Your photo is the first thing a potential mate will see, so it’s got to be great.

Let’s face it – would you rather date girl A or girl B?

online dating photo tips

It’s the same person, but I’d sooooooooooo click on Girl B! (OK, they’re both me, so don’t make too much fun of my laundry basket in the comments!)

So are you currently Girl or Guy A? Let’s change that.

The top five things to consider when taking your dating profile photos are as follows:

1) Look Your Best – take the time to create a photo where your hair is styled, you’re appropriately dressed AND you’re smiling. This sounds like a complete “Duh!” of a tip, but if you’ve spent any time on match.com, you’ve seen images of men in rumpled Hawaiian Shirts and women in scraped back ponytails. Make sure your hair and makeup (if you’re so inclined) are well done and you’re wearing a simple top and tasteful accessories. You can always break out the Hawaiian shirts again after date #3.

2) Mind the background of the image – this doesn’t mean you have to have a few Picassos and a Maserati in the back of the photo, but it DOES mean you might not meet Mrs. Right if your profile photo was taken with wet T-shirt night at Sharkey’s in Cabo going on behind you. Find a wall – a simple, graffiti-free brick wall is great! – and stand a few feet in front of it. All we want to focus on is your gorgeous face, so don’t go distracting us, ok?

3) Get comfortable – If you don’t know how to pose while standing, have a seat. Feel awkward about your hands? Put ‘em in your pockets or run them through your hair. Try four or five different poses until you get the one that feels GOOD, if you have to. Don’t stress about it too too much – this isn’t America’s Next Top Model.

4) Drop the props – What kind of message does it send if you’re holding a cocktail in the photo? Maybe you think it says “fun party girl!” but it’s actually coming off more “can you call me a cab? *Hiccup!*” Similarly, a man holding a briefcase can be meant to be “studly provider” but be perceived as “complete workaholic”. Just keep them out of the photo and avoid the issue altogether. (About the only example I can come up with to refute this is a dog. Dogs are pretty much universal date magnets.)

5) Hire a pro – if you absolutely want the best result from your profile photo, go with a professional photographer. They can help you pose in a way that’s both figure flattering and interesting and take a variety of photos that show your serious side, your playful side, your cute side and your sexy side (if you’re into that).

Pssssst – If you’re in Orange County, CA and you want to work with me, give me a call at 714.584.8931.

After collecting your payment, we’ll book two meetings – a phone consultation (in which we discuss your interests, what to wear and why you shouldn’t bring your fishing trophy or your mom to the appointment) and your photo session.

At the 30-60 minute session itself, you can bring as many clothing options as you like and I’ll advise you as to what looks best in photos and how to pose so you don’t have that yuck-awkward-I’m-being-photographed feeling. About a week later, you’ll receive a zipfile of 10 fully retouched but still completely, honestly YOU images that will be ready for uploading on facebook, match, eHarmony, etc. Your new, more date-able photos will garner you all sorts of winks, nudges, emails, and most importantly DATES.

How much for this fantastic little morsel of photographic love? $300. 300 little smackers towards getting you, well, big smackers. (OMG, did I just make that awful pun? I’m very sorry about that. I just get kind of corny when I think about people falling in love.)

Here’s the thing, though – this is an introductory thing – a teaser, if you will – for a big, fat, juicy project I have on the horizon so I’m only offering FIVE of these mini sessions at the current price. That’s right. 5. After the first five, the price will go up to $500. $200 is a pretty good incentive to book fast, right?

So call! 714.584.8931! (or if you’re very anti phone, email me at misha@hellomisha.com) Let’s get you on the way to your Angelina or your Brad ASAP!

 

 


Do Guys Have Intuition?

men intuition on dating marriage and relationshipsFemale intuition seems to be getting all the glory these days. The fact that it’s got its own name speaks for itself. Does it warrant its royal status? What about male intuition? If I’m a guy, does it mean I’m less intuitive or not intuitive at all?

The stereotype

The North American interpretation of Yin-Yang seems to be quite literal. If you’re a female, you possess a certain set of abilities, intuition taking the podium. If you’re a male, you have none of the female gifts, but you are well endowed with your own, unique to males, qualities. While there is some scientific support for some cognitive differences between males and females, focusing on them, in my opinion, caused a great deal of disservice to both parties.

The truth

As I have written in my “The Wife Always Knows”: Myth or Truth? The Work of Intuition in Relationships article, neuroscience gave us great clues about intuition. While explaining the underpinning of our “something’s wrong” or “Eureka!” moments, none of the articles I’ve read distinguished between male and female capacity for such experiences. In fact, the general ability to collect vast amounts of information and establish patterns unconsciously belongs to the HUMAN brain.

What is intuition?

To reiterate the point, let me go through the steps of how intuition works. Imagine a stealth radar quietly surveying the field at all times and collecting data about it. At some point, the radar collects enough data to start making sense of it. Eventually, it establishes a pattern. The pattern exists because certain things happen in a predictable manner. When the pattern is broken, we have a feeling about it, which we refer to as intuition.

Intuitive communication

We all have this marvelous function of our brain to raise alarm when something is off. It is achieved through the activation of our warning system, which fires up the adrenal glands and produces:

  • increased heart beat,
  • more laboured breathing,
  • tight muscles and
  • sweaty palms.

Research showed that people who are more in-tune with their heart beat and other physiological signs of stress are better able to make decisions intuitively. (Notice, the research did not differentiate between men and women.)

Example

For instance, your garbage truck comes at 6:30 a.m. every Wednesday, and you have learnt to talk yourself down from getting upset because the truck wakes you up with its noise. Today is Wednesday, and you woke up and thought to yourself, “Something is different. Something is not right.” Your intuition gave you the heads up because the pattern was broken – the truck didn’t come.

Case for female intuition

Somewhere in my readings, I did come across a couple of points that might explain why female intuition is leaving us guys in the dust (seemingly).

  1. It’s not that the female brain codes the information differently, but perhaps what is paid attention to is somewhat different.

    It was suggested that as traditional primary care-givers women have been wired to recognize and interpret signs of distress from their young better than men.

    In addition, since women have been long surviving in the male-dominant culture, they needed to be more attuned to their environment.

    Consider this study, for instance, that found that women outperform men in identifying emotions such as fear and disgust.

    As a result of these evolutionary and socio-cultural differences, women became better at collecting and interpreting signals from people around them thus increasing their intuitive capacity.

  2. Stemming from a similar cultural argument is another explanation for the preference for female intuition.

    Since women are traditionally socialized to be in-tune with their feelings and to express them more freely than men, when they experience inner alarm, they are more able to notice it, verbalize it and even act on it.

Final thoughts

Countering the above argument, one could refer to endless examples – from Albert Einstein to Steve Jobs – of men crediting their intuition for their discoveries, achievements and accomplishments.

Granted, those examples apply more to the world of business and science than intimate relationships, but I have a feeling – call it male intuition – the world is changing… for both sexes.

P.S. For more on intuition from an experiential point of view, check out Simply Spirit: A Personal Guide to Spiritual Clarity, One Insight at a Time. It has a whole chapter devoted to intuition.

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